Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator | Lex Fridman Podcast #364

Never Split The Difference is one of those books that changed how I approach my life and career, and it's been on the up ever since. Thank you Mr Voss.

"You're funnier than i am, that bothers me." What a profoundly insightful and self-confident statement. This interview is fantastic!!!

This whole conversation never stopped being interesting. One of my favorites already.

Almost three years ago I was stopped by a direct tv salesman in a mall. I was having a really hard day. I had just started life as a single father and didn't have my shit together. This guy stopped me and looked me dead in the eye and said, "if no one told you today , I just want to tell you, you are doing a great job." That guy probably knows that he changed my day that day. What he probably doesn't know is that because of what he said I have changed the days of so many people. What that guy said to me made me feel seen, and he had empathy for my situation. Which has stuck with me 3 years later. 1:41:33

Here are the timestamps. Please check out our sponsors to support this podcast. 0:00 - Introduction & sponsor mentions: - Shopify: https://shopify.com/lex to get free trial - Indeed: https://indeed.com/lex to get $75 credit - InsideTracker: https://insidetracker.com/lex to get 20% off 0:59 - Negotiation 6:50 - Reason vs Emotion 21:45 - How to listen 30:35 - Negotiation with terrorists 32:43 - Brittney Griner 34:21 - Putin and Zelenskyy 41:41 - Donald Trump 48:52 - When to walk away 53:06 - Israel and Palestine 1:00:45 - Al-Qaeda 1:06:15 - Three voices of negotiation 1:14:40 - Strategic umbrage 1:17:46 - Mirroring 1:20:57 - Labeling 1:28:24 - Exhaustion 1:30:38 - The word "fair" 1:33:34 - Closing the deal 1:35:32 - Manipulation and lying 1:37:26 - Conversation vs Negotiation 1:48:45 - The 7-38-55 Rule 1:52:45 - Chatbots 2:02:07 - War 2:03:39 - Advice for young people

Unexpectedly, one of my favorite episodes.

It is unreasonable that I can wake up at noon, plop my laptop on my chest, arbitrarily slap at my keyboard a couple times, and pure gold and diamonds come pooring out of the screen like this. Thank you for facilitating such a valuable transfer of knowledge and understanding. Also for your part, an especially strong showing of your own insights on these topics. Amazing job interogating Chris.

It's wild that he asks "why me, what am I doing here?" Within the first 15 mins I could tell this was going to be one of my favourite episodes. I always know the guests will be interesting but it never fails to amaze me how much deeper and even more interesting they get on this pod. Lex is the best at bringing out people's unique wisdom and perspective.

Lex is human who finds other people human no matter the difference. Super underrated quality

Getting to see Mr. Fridman laughing his heart out is the best thing about this conversation.