What Were The Unwritten RULES For Teens In The 1950s

This is a clip from show 1 of my 6 part TV series, Making Sense of the Sixties. Growing up during that time, I knew that these unwritten rules existed, was surprised to find that expert historians on that period agreed with the experience I was trying to articulate. Let me be clear that not every person who grew up in the 1950s experienced this, but about one third of the huge baby boomer generation knows exactly from first-hand experience what I am presenting here. I know that some of my viewers did not have this experience. But all of the studies show that at least many suburban kids, knew exactly what these people were talking about regarding the unspoken rules. It’s helpful to distinguish between the early '60s, which still felt very much like the "buttoned-up" 1950s, and the late '60s, when those unwritten rules were being actively challenged or shattered.In the 1960s, teenage behavior was governed by a rigid code of "respectability" that valued conformity, modesty, and deference to authority. Here is a breakdown of the unwritten rules for teenagers during that decade. For most of the decade, how you looked was considered a direct reflection of your character. Shirts had to be tucked in, and shoes were expected to be shined. Appearing "shabby" or "untidy" was often treated as a disciplinary issue in schools. For girls, skirts and dresses were mandatory in many schools until the late '60s. The unwritten (and often written) rule was that a skirt had to touch the floor when you knelt; anything shorter was considered scandalous.Hair Politics: For boys, hair length was a major battleground. The "Beatle haircut" was initially seen as an act of rebellion. Sideburns, bangs, or hair touching the collar could lead to suspension or being sent home. Wearing sunglasses or hats indoors was strictly forbidden and seen as a sign of extreme disrespect toward teachers or elders.Social Etiquette & MannersManners were a primary way teenagers demonstrated that they were "well-raised. Teens were expected to keep conversations with adults polite and neutral. Discussing "heavy" topics like politics, religion, or family finances was often considered off-limits for young people.The Introduction Ritual: There was a specific hierarchy for introductions: you were expected to introduce the younger person to the older person first, and a boy to a girl (giving the girl's name first) as a sign of chivalry. It was common practice for teenagers to stand up when an adult entered a room and to address adults strictly as "Sir," "Ma'am," or by their last name.Dating and Public LifeThe transition from "going steady" to the sexual revolution created a complex set of unspoken expectations. If a boy was taking a girl on a date, he was expected to come to the front door and speak with her parents—honking the car horn from the driveway was considered extremely rude. Unwritten rules (and school handbooks) strictly forbade anything beyond hand-holding. Even a simple hug or kiss in public could lead to a lecture on "decency. For many teens, the car was the ultimate "social networking tool." Owning or having access to a car wasn't just about transportation; it was an unwritten requirement for social status and the only place a teenager could find true privacy away from their parents. Unlike today’s focus on independence, the 1960s teen lived under a "privilege, not a right" model of privacy.Limited Privacy: Parents often felt entitled to listen to phone conversations or know exactly where their children were at all times. Privacy was something earned through obedience rather than an inherent right. Curfews were not just suggestions; missing one was seen as a major breach of family loyalty and often resulted in immediate "grounding."You can see some of these rules in action in historical social guidance films from 1960 or read about how school dress codes enforced these "unwritten" social norms.