A child psychologist’s guide to working with difficult adults | Dr. Becky Kennedy
Related videos
Tom Nichols: There’s Something Wrong with the President | The Bulwark Podcast LIVE
The Bulwark
159.0k views
Why Dan Bongino is LEAVING FBI and Trump Admin and Returning to Podcasting, with Glenn Greenwald
Megyn Kelly
341.7k views
Jeff Teague REACTS to Stephen A. Smith speaking on BEEF with LeBron James on multiple podcasts
Club 520 Podcast
269.5k views
The ultimate guide to AEO: How to get ChatGPT to recommend your product | Ethan Smith (Graphite)
Lenny's Podcast
65.8k views
Gay Man With Adopted Child Was Discovered To Be A P*dophile
Michael Knowles
47.2k views
Ultimate Beginner's Guide to Making Viral Videos with Veo 3
Matt Wolfe
67.5k views
My Advanced Guide To Better Sleep | Bryan Johnson Podcast
Bryan Johnson
237.2k views
From ChatGPT to Instagram to Uber: The quiet architect behind the world’s most popular products
Lenny's Podcast
80.8k views
Psychologist Reveals How To Stop Criticising Yourself - Dr Julie Smith
Chris Williamson
47.4k views
Building Lovable: $10M ARR in 60 days with 15 people | Anton Osika (CEO and co-founder)
Lenny's Podcast
53.5k views
Unlock all features
FREE: Get instant access to 10 AI summaries, chats, or transcripts per day.
Unlock all features
FREE: Get instant access to 10 AI summaries, chats, or transcripts per day.
Unlock all features
FREE: Get instant access to 10 AI summaries, chats, or transcripts per day.
Unlock all features
FREE: Get instant access to 10 AI summaries, chats, or transcripts per day.
Unlock all features
FREE: Get instant access to 10 AI summaries, chats, or transcripts per day.
Related videos
Tom Nichols: There’s Something Wrong with the President | The Bulwark Podcast LIVE
The Bulwark
159.0k views
Why Dan Bongino is LEAVING FBI and Trump Admin and Returning to Podcasting, with Glenn Greenwald
Megyn Kelly
341.7k views
Jeff Teague REACTS to Stephen A. Smith speaking on BEEF with LeBron James on multiple podcasts
Club 520 Podcast
269.5k views
The ultimate guide to AEO: How to get ChatGPT to recommend your product | Ethan Smith (Graphite)
Lenny's Podcast
65.8k views
Gay Man With Adopted Child Was Discovered To Be A P*dophile
Michael Knowles
47.2k views
Ultimate Beginner's Guide to Making Viral Videos with Veo 3
Matt Wolfe
67.5k views
My Advanced Guide To Better Sleep | Bryan Johnson Podcast
Bryan Johnson
237.2k views
From ChatGPT to Instagram to Uber: The quiet architect behind the world’s most popular products
Lenny's Podcast
80.8k views
Psychologist Reveals How To Stop Criticising Yourself - Dr Julie Smith
Chris Williamson
47.4k views
Building Lovable: $10M ARR in 60 days with 15 people | Anton Osika (CEO and co-founder)
Lenny's Podcast
53.5k views
Top Comments (9)
It's wild to see Lenny and Dr. Becky Kennedy in an episode. Two people I watch for two totally separate aspects of my life: product (work), parenting (personal) in one setting. Wild.
Surprisingly this will help me deal with managers & senior leadership at work.
She is so amazingly smart. Thank you.
Such a combo, the two people I follow the most. Also 65 people work on Good Inside 🤯
Recently, I told my 9-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son that we are a team and that they are team members. A bit of context: every week, taking both kids to swimming lessons used to be the most exhausting thing. All the before-and-after swimming chores completely drained me. So I came up with an idea and said, “We’re a team. Let’s try our best to reduce the hassles together.” And honestly, something magical happened. They started treating themselves like real team members. They even say, “We are a team,” on their own now. Somehow, going to swimming lessons is no longer a big deal.
Omg, Lenny did ‘I believe you’ with Becky. Wholesome.
18:27 She is saying that we should separate behaviour and identity. Is anyone thinking critically here? She is trying to separate behavior and identity. Just think about that for a moment. Does that make any sense? Where the hell is behaviour coming from if it's not the core identity (beliefs and values)? It's literally impossible to separate those two. It's a holistic system. One stems from the other. Wow. I thought this was just obvious. And then she goes onto explaining the approach of having a conversation with the employee exhibiting bad behaviour and she (acting as the employer) starts to ask questions in a respectful way about why the employee is showing up late to meetings. To think that this is not targeting their value system and beliefs (aka identity) is literally insane. Behavior is an expression of identity. Then she explains her kid that is not a people pleaser. Yeah people who are not people pleasers are difficult to be around. This does not have to be more difficult than it is. People literally have diff values and when that is true conflict is the obvious result. She also talks about the team member who talks excessively in meetings and how it pisses everyone off. Then she has a meeting with them and explains that is making everyone angry at them and want to tune them out more. And like that is supposed to solve the problem hahah! It's insane what she is saying here. No. Things don't get solved like this. It's a direct attack on that person's identity. They are not a good culture fit. They probably shouldn't be there. This is all airy fairy advice honestly. I understand her motivation to solve problems but her techniques are not targeting the underlying issue which is the lack of aligned identities. If you do not align people at a fundamental level of identity (values, beliefs) you will always have conflict. It's really that simple. You can try to force cooperation at the surface level (like what she proposes) but this is only surface level BS. It's simply just telling the person, "If you don't change your behavior I'm going to fire you". That is what is actually being said and the employee fundamentally understands this. The foundational issue is not being fixed. She is promoting deceptive techniques to fake-solve problems.
Dr Becky is so awesome❤❤❤
This needs so many more views. For every person who watched many Lenny episodes, the Algo should require them to watch this.
Unlock the Data Inside
Turn Videos into Knowledge
- Get FREE 10/day: transcripts, summaries, chats
- Chat with videos, export text & PDF
- $1 free API credit for RAG, chatbots & research
Free forever plan • All features unlocked
Top Comments (9)
It's wild to see Lenny and Dr. Becky Kennedy in an episode. Two people I watch for two totally separate aspects of my life: product (work), parenting (personal) in one setting. Wild.
Surprisingly this will help me deal with managers & senior leadership at work.
She is so amazingly smart. Thank you.
Such a combo, the two people I follow the most. Also 65 people work on Good Inside 🤯
Recently, I told my 9-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son that we are a team and that they are team members. A bit of context: every week, taking both kids to swimming lessons used to be the most exhausting thing. All the before-and-after swimming chores completely drained me. So I came up with an idea and said, “We’re a team. Let’s try our best to reduce the hassles together.” And honestly, something magical happened. They started treating themselves like real team members. They even say, “We are a team,” on their own now. Somehow, going to swimming lessons is no longer a big deal.
Omg, Lenny did ‘I believe you’ with Becky. Wholesome.
18:27 She is saying that we should separate behaviour and identity. Is anyone thinking critically here? She is trying to separate behavior and identity. Just think about that for a moment. Does that make any sense? Where the hell is behaviour coming from if it's not the core identity (beliefs and values)? It's literally impossible to separate those two. It's a holistic system. One stems from the other. Wow. I thought this was just obvious. And then she goes onto explaining the approach of having a conversation with the employee exhibiting bad behaviour and she (acting as the employer) starts to ask questions in a respectful way about why the employee is showing up late to meetings. To think that this is not targeting their value system and beliefs (aka identity) is literally insane. Behavior is an expression of identity. Then she explains her kid that is not a people pleaser. Yeah people who are not people pleasers are difficult to be around. This does not have to be more difficult than it is. People literally have diff values and when that is true conflict is the obvious result. She also talks about the team member who talks excessively in meetings and how it pisses everyone off. Then she has a meeting with them and explains that is making everyone angry at them and want to tune them out more. And like that is supposed to solve the problem hahah! It's insane what she is saying here. No. Things don't get solved like this. It's a direct attack on that person's identity. They are not a good culture fit. They probably shouldn't be there. This is all airy fairy advice honestly. I understand her motivation to solve problems but her techniques are not targeting the underlying issue which is the lack of aligned identities. If you do not align people at a fundamental level of identity (values, beliefs) you will always have conflict. It's really that simple. You can try to force cooperation at the surface level (like what she proposes) but this is only surface level BS. It's simply just telling the person, "If you don't change your behavior I'm going to fire you". That is what is actually being said and the employee fundamentally understands this. The foundational issue is not being fixed. She is promoting deceptive techniques to fake-solve problems.
Dr Becky is so awesome❤❤❤
This needs so many more views. For every person who watched many Lenny episodes, the Algo should require them to watch this.