r/TIFU By Staging a Jailbreak
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Failed Military Jailbreak and Hilarious Subsequent Mistakes
Discover how military police attempted an audacious jailbreak that failed spectacularly, followed by stories involving stoned mothers, expensive conditional non-monogamy, and a cat demanding a truly unique form of affection.
Short Summary
- Military Police officers devised and executed a detailed plan to rescue a friend from local jail using their uniforms and command channels.
- A 68-year-old mother was accidentally given marijuana, leading to existential chaos regarding stair navigation and the complete eradication of her husband's secret ice cream stash.
- A casual discussion about opening a marriage turned into a serious financial negotiation after one spouse quoted a surprisingly low "fee" for infidelity.
- The discussion highlights the high emotional and professional cost of terrible judgment, interspersed with absurd vignettes reporting reckless behavior.
This summary introduces the main narratives: the ambitious but doomed jailbreak, the domestic cannabis incident, and the relationship financial discussion. These stories underscore themes of misplaced loyalty, recklessness, and communication failures.
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Top Comments (10)
First Story: What's crazy about this is the fact that if that arresting officer didn’t show up and wasn’t there, OP and his roommate 100% would’ve gotten away with this (maybe for the time being but still). OP's and the roommate's luck just ran out at that exact moment lol
The second story had me cackling the entire time imagining a old lady getting flung to a different planet
First story should be a reminder of how much they'll let you get away with in the military. Explains why all the SA and murder goes by with slaps on the wrist.
Moms smoking pot story that's too damn funny
I once taught my ex-husband cat that the best way to get his attention is to stand in front of the TV or him and not to move till he got a kiss on the forehead. The cat now harasses him endlessly for forehead kisses. If he's playing a game the cat jumps into his lap and blocks his view till he kisses his forehead 😂
First story doesn't surprise me. Military men will do crazy things when they're drunk. My roommate, his buddy and his dad all went out. The buddy stayed sober and supervised my roommate and buddy's dad while they adventured out into the night lol
My teenage immaturity laughed at "fuzzy toebean surprise!"😂😂
I had a fluffy creamsickle cat named Mittens, her favorite game when everyone was asleep was to sit over your face and stare down at you, and if you opened your mouth and snored, she'd see how far she could shove her paw down your throat before making you sputter and cough. I watched her do this to my mom while whisper-shouting at her to stop it, and she just looked back at me defiantly with her WHOLE little arm down my mom's throat like she accidentally dropped her keys down there. My mom's snoring gave way to a sputtering cough and she yanked her paw out and started flipping her head around like an inflatable tubeman, then came prancing over all satisfied. Twice I woke up with a coughing fit realizing my sadistic little prankster cat was staring down at my face, and on the last time she snagged her claw on the inside of my cheek, which spooked her out of doing it again, at least to my knowledge.
I laughed way to hard at the cat story 😂😂😂
Every story but the 3rd story is just so funny.... The 3rd one makes me think it's gonna either end in divorce or OP is gonna be the richest person in the world.
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Top Comments (10)
First Story: What's crazy about this is the fact that if that arresting officer didn’t show up and wasn’t there, OP and his roommate 100% would’ve gotten away with this (maybe for the time being but still). OP's and the roommate's luck just ran out at that exact moment lol
The second story had me cackling the entire time imagining a old lady getting flung to a different planet
First story should be a reminder of how much they'll let you get away with in the military. Explains why all the SA and murder goes by with slaps on the wrist.
Moms smoking pot story that's too damn funny
I once taught my ex-husband cat that the best way to get his attention is to stand in front of the TV or him and not to move till he got a kiss on the forehead. The cat now harasses him endlessly for forehead kisses. If he's playing a game the cat jumps into his lap and blocks his view till he kisses his forehead 😂
First story doesn't surprise me. Military men will do crazy things when they're drunk. My roommate, his buddy and his dad all went out. The buddy stayed sober and supervised my roommate and buddy's dad while they adventured out into the night lol
My teenage immaturity laughed at "fuzzy toebean surprise!"😂😂
I had a fluffy creamsickle cat named Mittens, her favorite game when everyone was asleep was to sit over your face and stare down at you, and if you opened your mouth and snored, she'd see how far she could shove her paw down your throat before making you sputter and cough. I watched her do this to my mom while whisper-shouting at her to stop it, and she just looked back at me defiantly with her WHOLE little arm down my mom's throat like she accidentally dropped her keys down there. My mom's snoring gave way to a sputtering cough and she yanked her paw out and started flipping her head around like an inflatable tubeman, then came prancing over all satisfied. Twice I woke up with a coughing fit realizing my sadistic little prankster cat was staring down at my face, and on the last time she snagged her claw on the inside of my cheek, which spooked her out of doing it again, at least to my knowledge.
I laughed way to hard at the cat story 😂😂😂
Every story but the 3rd story is just so funny.... The 3rd one makes me think it's gonna either end in divorce or OP is gonna be the richest person in the world.