This Is Why Most Men Feel Invisible - Richard Reeves

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Most of us men feel invisible passing through society and if any say anything all its met with is "poor you your a man*

I’m a 65 year old male and I feel invisible at times, so it’s not just youngsters.

The problem here is that nobody is asking why men are sedating in the first place, and why they are feeling unneeded. Sedation is not the reason, it’s the symptom. Look around over the last sixty years.

This is still a conversation about symptoms…….

The best compliment someone gave me was: "when you're not here, you're absense is felt". I wish that everyone could hear this from someone even just once in their lives. In my moments of struggle just remembering this helped me immensely

We are not pulling away, we were pushed away. Both my parents as white collar professionals in their respective fields made more at my age when adjused for inflation and already had me and my brother. I, on the other hand, have to settle for less than market rate while I gain 10 yrs experience also as a white collar professional. We are all in different fields but I believe nothing would change had I followed in dad or mum's footsteps.

He’s partly correct. Most men don’t feel they can ever have a family, afford a house, have any decent quality of life. I even struggle as high earner - I can’t imagine being in the bottom 50%.

Not just young men. At least they still have hope. I feel like I let life pass me by. One of the few things that keeps me going is knowing that there are several people who would be hurt if I checked out early.

If I didn't have my job, which is the only thing I look forward to each day, I wouldn't have anything to live for. All my friends I made in high school and college spread out throughout the country so we effectively never see each other unless I make the effort to reach out and plan that we meet, but that's never reciprocated which have left me feeling invisible and unwanted. I know I'm supposed to make an effort to create new connections, but with 3 hours left each day coming back home from work I'm supposed to do groceries, cook, clean and work out – there's simply no free time. So the only real option is hanging out with a friend over discord until I have to go to bed each day. It's a cycle I find difficult to break, but if I whine about it like I just did none will listen or just ridicule me over how good I supposedly have it – life fucking sucks. At my age my parents already had a full life and with time to spare for a social life.