r/AITA for Making My Brother Homeless?

When you're too busy being the loudest voice in the marriage, it can feel like being blindsided when your partner just silently leaves without warning.

Story 2: NTA. Is that even a question? Your wife and her family treated you like garbage for TWENTY YEARS, and your wife literally doesn't give two sh*ts about you, and you just simply had enough and just left. And you DID confide in her about your grievances but they simply just brushed you off, they CANNOT say you "didn't communicate with them".

also for story 2, everyone that has covered the story had ignored the god damn RACISM of refusing to see OPs family or eat his cultural foods. today I'm disappointed because its be like if rslash ignored his wife's wants and needs and refused to eat her cultural foods and see her family

Story 2: What else was he supposed to think R/slash? The wife had basically fully removed the kids from basically being a part of OP's life, not allowing them to be part of his culture and meeting his family just because of her whims and such, can you honestly say you'd blame him for not having "Super supportive language" or stuff when he was never able to connect with his kids? If it was the other way around, and a dad had fully made the kids not be at all involved with the Mom's family, culture and so on for YEARS, with regular arguments over 14 YEARS, would you still say this about the language being not as personal?

While I do think there is more to the story, I have a feeling that more is the wife systematically breaking the husband. If you get isolated from your family, all ideas are ignored, and other mentally abusive stuff, you kind of just shut down. I have seen it before.

If anyone is the AH in Story 1, it's the Mom. She's forcing the daughter to do her dirty work so she can pretend like "Oh this wasn't my choice, it's out of my hands, I'm not the bad guy here, my daughter is!!!".

Story 2: “My wife and her family have treated me and my family like crap for 20 years so i left, AITA?” …what part of this situation would lead Op to think makes him TA…? Also WHY does he care about the opinions of his toxic Ex and her family?

I can tell Rslash has never had his privacy forcefully taken from him. When I lived with my parents I wasn't allowed to have a lock for my bedroom for the longest time and my dad would just barge in without knocking regardless if I was half way dressed. So no, it's not a small thing, the only reason you would see it as a small thing is if you've never had to deal with not having privacy at all.

8:35 when your wife makes her whole life about the kids, and constantly boxes you out of parenting, especially if you’re the primary financial provider, it’s easy to feel disconnected or detached from your kids. I’ve had this conversation with my own wife because she has her own control issues and tends to override me and my parenting. And while she and I are working on the issue and it’s gotten a lot better, I can see that for others, eventually you feel like you have no choice but to give up and it just reinforces everything. The kids just see you as the guy who pays for stuff and takes care of mom but not much else, so when they become adults they don’t have the appropriate grasp on the balance.

Second story: as a kid who lived under that type of marriage, I was decently manipulated by my mother into being pitted against my father. Uncertain if that's what's happened here, but shrug emoji