“I Regret Raising My Sons Like Soldiers” - Cameron Hanes

I understand why this man regrets pushing his kids too hard. My father is an amazing man; I revere him to this day. He is 80 years old and still a badass, but he pushed me too hard. As an artistic type who read poetry and philosophy books as a hobby, my father’s intense parenting style did not serve me well. I wanted to be like him so badly I would have walked through fire for the man. I took zero risks in high school simply because I didn’t want to screw up and ruin his good name in our home town. I went into the military at 17 to literally get a break. I loved it and did great, but my drill instructor pulled me into his office after about 5 weeks into boot camp and asked me what was wrong with me. I never got in trouble and they road my ass and I never broke. At least that’s what he thought. I simply told him that you can’t break what is already broken. He was a wise man. He sent me to see the Chaplain. Best decision that he could have made for me. Long story short, I became a minister and a soldier. I raised my kids differently, but they are both still driven over achievers. It’s in the blood. Expectations and standards are a good thing, but we can’t raise kids based on how messed up our childhoods were or how messed up society is when they are born. We need to watch closely to see who they are as individuals and mentor them to be the very best version of themselves. The earlier we do that the easier it is to see who and what that looks like. My oldest was doing science experiments at 6 with no prompting. She’s a chemical engineer now. Her sister was giving advice to her classmates about how to deal with pain and loss because she had friends who lost relatives in the military and relatives to cancer. My second child is a Chaplain that specializes in caring for people who have survived natural disasters. If we show our kids both tenderness and strength they will amaze us with the ability they can have for balance.

As a son whose dad did not push him at all. Be grateful that you had a dad like Cam. I would take this option all day.

Being strict without abuse is the best thing a young boy can have. Structure

My dad was an abusive alcoholic who left us. And my step dad didnt teach, he forced me to do his yard work and would leave all week to drive truck. Coming home on the weekends full of hate and abuse. Even made my friends do chores when they came to visit. They stopped coming over. I moved out at 17 and he didnt even say goodbye. I had my issues growing up but i always strived to be better. I tried to spark a relationship with both of them years later and was rejected. It made me feel worthless. But it also made me treat my own kids better. I had to retrain my brain to avoid being abusive when my kids needed discipline, because thats how my dad and step dad treated me. I havent talked to my family in almost 6 years. My life has improved a lot since then.

My dad was impossibly tough and would never admit this. Great job Cam. You didn’t do it selfishly. You did it out of love.

That’s why we make better grandparents than parents we learn from our mistakes

The world is a cruel place. Finding the balance between raising a compassionate human being that is also mentally tough is hard work.

"one son is probably tougher than my other son" 😂 bro still thinks like this

Hello you beauties. Watch the full episode with Cameron Hanes here: https://youtu.be/acbb2cTtlK4. Get 5 Free Travel Packs, Free Liquid Vitamin D, and more from AG1 at https://ag1.info/modernwisdom

As a father of a young boy, these kind of open, honest talks are extremely valuable