r/Bestof My Witch Neighbor is Trying to Curse Me

Story 1: You know, the funny thing is: i bet the cops thought OP was the crazy one after hearing her story…then after speaking with the neighbor they realized “…oh…maybe THIS one is the crazy one” lol. I NEEED more updates to this lol

The best way to deal with that kind of crazy is to use back it on them. "My energy killed your sourdough? Don't worry, I'll perform the needed rituals to cleanse my energy multiple times a week. Please refrain from performing rituals at all during the next month, else your ritual energy might pollute mine and cause you to be cursed accidentally." Then go home and take a shower.

Micro manager story: "Should I leave it alone or talk face to face?" GIRL! You got the bear to sleep. You don't go back to poking it!

I had an equal level coworker come to me and start micro managing me. I told him off. He told me he got promoted to be between me and our supervisor. I told him I'll believe it when the supervisor tells me and he can now go away. I never heard another word about it. Not even from the supervisor.

Listening to this while getting ready in the morning (as usual) and with the dog story I heard “in the end he got a fine and a misdemeanour” and my first thought was “how tf do they charge a dog with a misdemeanour”… it’s time to start downing my coffee lmao

1st story, I have in aunt who is a Jehovah’s witness. Years ago she would make wheat bread to sell and my mom would help her sell them. One day my mom called her to ask her when she’s going to make the next batch and my aunt said “my yeast didn’t rise, god is telling me to not make any today cause of your bad vibes.” Let’s just say that fractured the little relationship we had with her.

It takes weeks to kill a sourdough starter. I've neglected mine in the fridge for a month several times, and it wakes up just fine.

the drunk college kid story: this is easy. write a number on a piece of paper back to them saying this is the cost of the new door plus the vet bill to make sure everything was ok with the dogs as well as a lawyer fees. you can even throw in emotional distress from having to deal with the breaking and entering.

Regarding someone else's DNA, look into chimeric DNA and twin absorption. There is the story of Lydia Fairchild, a woman who genetically isn't her children's mother. She had absorbed her twin in-utero and her womb and ovaries have her twin's DNA instead. When a child support request came, the DNA tests showed the father was indeed theirs, but Lydia wasn't their mother. It's only after they tested her third child literally right after it was born that they realised it.

Anyone else think that the twist in the DNA story would be that his real dad would end up being a soldier of Mexican heritage who served in Iraq?