r/Bestof My Witch Neighbor is Trying to Curse Me

Hi, not a witch but dating one and practiced magic in my youth. As far as the first story. Literally NONE of that sounds like spells for magic. They usually imvolve stuff like putting cinnamon in your tea and chanting a good morning incantation or writing someone's name on papper tieing it in red twine and freezing to to prevent them from doing harm. The sage burning yeah but burying spaghetti and raw chicken attacks? Maybe they exist but I've never seen um. I think she's just crazy lol

Salting the lawn IS damaging property. Although, you probably won'T get far with a table salt shaker.

Story 1: You know, the funny thing is: i bet the cops thought OP was the crazy one after hearing her story…then after speaking with the neighbor they realized “…oh…maybe THIS one is the crazy one” lol. I NEEED more updates to this lol

The best way to deal with that kind of crazy is to use back it on them. "My energy killed your sourdough? Don't worry, I'll perform the needed rituals to cleanse my energy multiple times a week. Please refrain from performing rituals at all during the next month, else your ritual energy might pollute mine and cause you to be cursed accidentally." Then go home and take a shower.

Micro manager story: "Should I leave it alone or talk face to face?" GIRL! You got the bear to sleep. You don't go back to poking it!

I had an equal level coworker come to me and start micro managing me. I told him off. He told me he got promoted to be between me and our supervisor. I told him I'll believe it when the supervisor tells me and he can now go away. I never heard another word about it. Not even from the supervisor.

Listening to this while getting ready in the morning (as usual) and with the dog story I heard “in the end he got a fine and a misdemeanour” and my first thought was “how tf do they charge a dog with a misdemeanour”… it’s time to start downing my coffee lmao

1st story, I have in aunt who is a Jehovah’s witness. Years ago she would make wheat bread to sell and my mom would help her sell them. One day my mom called her to ask her when she’s going to make the next batch and my aunt said “my yeast didn’t rise, god is telling me to not make any today cause of your bad vibes.” Let’s just say that fractured the little relationship we had with her.

It takes weeks to kill a sourdough starter. I've neglected mine in the fridge for a month several times, and it wakes up just fine.

the drunk college kid story: this is easy. write a number on a piece of paper back to them saying this is the cost of the new door plus the vet bill to make sure everything was ok with the dogs as well as a lawyer fees. you can even throw in emotional distress from having to deal with the breaking and entering.