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The Manipulation Expert: How to Spot Hidden Manipulators & Take Your Power Back

2026-07-20 Education
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Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
5.9m subscribers

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Description

In today’s episode, you’ll learn the hidden signs of a manipulative, toxic person from the #1 researcher in the world on dark personalities, Dr. Leanne ten Brinke, PhD. She is here to teach you how to spot the poisonous people that are hidden in plain sight around you - in your family, your community, and at work. And, she’s giving you the science-backed guide to understand poisonous people: how they operate, how to spot the patterns early, and what to do when you realize you’re dealing with one. Dr. ten Brinke is a professor at the University of British Columbia, where she directs the Truth and Trust Lab and has spent nearly two decades studying trust, deception, manipulation, and dark personality traits. She wants to make one thing perfectly clear: most people are good. But one poisonous person can create an enormous amount of stress, confusion, and pain. This episode will help you recognize the pattern, trust what you’re seeing, neutralize their behavior, and know exactly what to do when you’re around them. In this episode, you’ll learn: -How to spot dark personality traits of narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and sadism in daily life -The #1 sign you’re being manipulated -What gaslighting is, what it is not, and what to do when you’re being gaslit -Why many toxic people seem charming at first -How gossip can reveal a manipulative personality at work -The simple ways to become more strategic instead of more emotional when dealing with difficult people After listening, you will know exactly what to do to spot toxic behavior, handle manipulative people, and take back your peace and power. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-416/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Meet the Guest 02:31 Why Toxic People Are So Harmful 09:10 The Four “Dark Personality” Traits 12:55 Hidden Signs of a Sociopath: What to Look For 21:26 What a Machiavellian Personality Looks Like 31:45 The Easiest Way To Spot A Narcissist in Your Life 38:03 How to Spot a Sadist and What To Do 44:14 How to Tell if Someone is a Psychopath or Just a Bad Person 45:15 Spot A Toxic Person in 10 Seconds 49:21 Why People With Toxic Traits Are Often in Powerful Positions 50:42 What Is Gaslighting And How To Spot It 53:09 Why Narcissists and Toxic People Don't Change 59:31 How to Protect Your Peace & Take Back Your Power Verizon: verizon.com — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Top Comments (10)

@sheilanorton3816 2026-07-20

Real narcistic people never apologize. Never.

59 10 replies
@Neuroshiftdaily 2026-07-20

The most dangerous people usually don’t look dangerous at first. That’s why learning the patterns matters more than trusting first impressions.

100 4 replies
@InMyMind-22 2026-07-21

Getting away from those kinds of people are one thing-cleansing yourself of them is something else. They are life ruining kinds of people

5
@lindsay5348 2026-07-20

My Mom and sister are married to monsters . What a sad life … I’m so happy at 62 I choose single life now and forever . My trust is gone .. thank you ladies .

22 3 replies
@aditiaher7 2026-07-20

After suffering because of callous and poisonous people in my life, I needed this to become wiser at judging people 🙂 Saving this to my private playlist of Mel's Podcasts.

23 1 replies
@aimeeperdue9135 2026-07-20

Observe don’t absorb.

11
@vanessabayar4489 2026-07-20

The worst ones are the ones that use religion to manipulate

91 10 replies
@emme1865 2026-07-20

I always question if I am a bad person when I hear the whole "they seem kind and ask about you" beacuse I do try to be kind and I do ask people about things tjey seem to care about. But then I think back to a psycologist that that told me that a bad person would never worry about behaving badly. It opened up my mind and made me open to learn that perhaps I was so busy in trying to make myself the bad guy because I was taught I was the problem. It completely changed my world and made me better able to be nicer to myself. I hope this helps someone that reads it as well.

6
@Settled1 2026-07-20

“Charming” is the word that signals that you are being played! Normal people don’t need to “Charm” and dazzle!

27 1 replies
@beautyintheeats 2026-07-20

It took me eight years of marriage to slowly discover what is toxic and emotionally manipulative. It takes separation to derive clarity. The most deceptive people are the outwardly charming and "nice" people. Over time I noticed patterns in behavior ie actions not matching words. Lies- small and big. Gaslighting. I also noticed similar patterns in his family members- observe behavior carefully. My body eventually broke down and I had to listen to my gut and intuition. It is better to be single than be lonely in a marriage. Thank you for providing content like this to help people realize that we are not crazy like we have been manipulated to believe

3

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