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r/Offmychest I Conditioned Myself to Find Monsters Hot

2026-04-21 Comedy
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rSlash
rSlash
1.9m subscribers

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Description

Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8qFqrblXu1Plkv8L Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rslash Discord: https://discord.com/invite/VD6eYD3 0:00 Intro 0:07 Saved my life 2:58 Reverse 4:02 Fiancé's friend 6:52 Abandoned 9:12 Fear fun 12:12 Unalive "Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0

Top Comments (10)

@vivideblois 2026-04-21

Alpine Divorce isn't breaking up on a hike and leaving your partner behind. It's purposefully taking your partner on a hike and then abandonning them to either punish them for something or in attempt to kill them.

369 8 replies
@Eppon6 2026-04-21

The guide on the hiking story is an actual hiker and the ex was not. The main rules of hiking together with anyone else include keeping to the pace of the slowest person, not overextending anyone, quitting if anyone feels unwell and NEVER leaving anyone alone.

230 2 replies
@sunshineash7322 2026-04-21

The last story hit me hard. 16 years ago now, when my first born was just starting to walk and talk, PPD hit me really hard and when I got off work one day, instead of going to the sitters to pick up my son like I normally would, I was heading home to end my life, thinking he and my husband would be better off without me. My sitter called me. I almost didn’t answer but when I did, before either of us could say anything, I heard my son in the background saying “momma” for the first time. It was like a switch was flipped in me and I apologized to my sitter for being late, got stuck in traffic but was almost there, and went and got my boy. It was another 3 months later before I opened up to anyone that I had come that close to the end and it was only because I had a panic attack in front of my husband when we were at the shooting range and he went to hand me the 9mm to practice. He took care of me from that day on and made sure I knew I was loved, doing everything right as a new mom and not alone. About to celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary with him 🥰

174 2 replies
@Nonymous4 2026-04-21

Alpine divorce isn't "I'm mad he abandoned me, let's get divorced" the "divorce" is actually supposed to be her parishing in the woods.

150
@Ironraven001 2026-04-21

Someone broke into my car to steal $2.50 in change in my cup holder, but left a full unopened pack of cigarettes on the dash. A pack of smokes was about $8 a pack at that time. What a dumbass.

144 10 replies
@solr7001 2026-04-21

Fuck. Lily’s FIVE?!? Where did the time go? I remember a pre-lily time.

67 3 replies
@morganleanderblake678 2026-04-21

The alpine divorce thing is usually cause more by malice than you’d think. usually they make sure their partner doesn’t know how bad or cold or dangerous it will be, and then abandons them.

56
@Corpseville 2026-04-21

Wow, r/slash’s daughter is 5 already? That means this channel has been apart of my morning routine for at least that long, definitely longer because I’ve been around since Yugo was adopted too. Anyways, just a crazy realization to have, have a great day y’all! 😊

46 2 replies
@ToyBonnieVentRabbit 2026-04-21

Also, the assault story is exactly why people are so wary about "oh they're just a really good friend" because this dude DITCHED OP WHO WAS PREVIOUSLY ATTACKED for his "friend" who is ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP because of a wee bit of car damage. OP is RIGHT THERE needing help, but noooooo, gotta run to your maybe-lady that isn't even a maybe

43
@patriksvensson2360 2026-04-21

Regarding the topic of that last post, I cannot stress enough that medical depression is a state where your brain isn't producing dopamine and serotonin hormones like it should and thus isn't likely to just go away. Ask for help, get treatment and don't shy away from antidepressants if needed. Things can and will turn for the better, and regardless of whom you are you deserve that.

26

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