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6 Ways to Use My “Let Them” Theory to Improve Any Relationship | The Mel Robbins Podcast

2023-11-13 People & Blogs
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Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
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Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to not get so annoyed or frustrated with the people that you love? There is. It’s called the “Let Them” theory. Mel discovered it while arguing with her son about a taco stand, and she hasn’t stopped using it since. She first explained the “Let Them” theory in a 60-second reel on Instagram. 63 million views later. The verdict is in. Everyone loves the “let them” theory. Today, Mel is in the studio, taking your calls live and teaching you 6 ways to improve any #relationship with the “Let Them” theory. In this episode, you hear Mel cover topics like: How to handle a mother-in-law who is not supportive Feeling left out? Good. You need better friends Why moving in with your parents is better than living with an ex What to say when your sibling wants to gossip about your mom Why being the family peacekeeper creates a war inside you How to stop being the “fixer” in your relationships The truth about addiction in a family and the role you need to play Why your dad’s gambling problem isn’t yours to fix How rescuing people robs them of the problems they need to face What to do when your parents’ marriage is in crisis How to tell a friend you are sick of hearing about their relationship drama Why you shouldn’t be the “therapist” for your friend group Why it's normal for friends to drop you when you start drawing boundaries The art of putting yourself first: “Let me” be happy for a change Watch the episodes on YouTube: https://bit.ly/45OWCNr The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast/ I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Intro 01:42 What is the “Let Them Theory” anyway? 04:03 My overfunctioning anxiety kicked in until this happened. 09:29 How do I stop being the ‘peacemaker’ in my family? 11:26 Here’s the 2 simple strategies for facing discomfort. 13:17 Why can't you stop gossiping even though you know it’s toxic? 18:52 How to have the courage to leave the job you hate. 20:21 How do you deal with judgemental family members? 26:39 Whoa, a lot of you will relate to this. 32:41 Why being the “therapist” for your friend group is draining you. 35:22 How to stop being the “fixer” in the relationship. 40:03 The 4 things you are responsible for in any relationship. 41:44 The root cause of any addiction. 44:51 What you need to know about navigating life after abuse. 46:02 Why “giving your all” to a relationship is the worst decision possible. 50:25 How can you empower people you love to use the “Let Them Theory”? #relationshiptips #relationshiphacks #letthem #podcast — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Top Comments (10)

@kirstenshindler7767 2023-11-14

When someone behaves badly and is disrespectful for no reason… ITS NOT ABOUT YOU! Don’t take it personally! It took me a Long time to learn this lesson.. they are puking their ickiness onto you. Don’t react, don’t defend, don’t respond! Or you can ask them to repeat themselves.. so they can hear their ickiness again! 😂

86 4 replies
@TheMotherShipXVII 2023-11-13

Fantastic stuff, Mel. I'm a Behavioral Coach and had a 74 year old client who was verbally abused and controlled by her sister (and others) for a lifetime...as her sister lay in hospice (still controlling her from the bedside!) we went deep into The Let Them theory. 5 weeks later her sister "started behaving"!! She could not be happier-her kids and hubby think it's a miracle. This has changed my life AND those I work with. Thank you!

68 2 replies
@cyc3361 2023-11-13

Theory coincides with "The Art of Not Giving a Fuck". Great reads for Codependents who attract Narcissists into their lives.

65
@SusanCleaver-i3h 2024-01-09

About the woman who called about her husband and friendships...I noticed that some of my friendships seemed to be wilting. After a while I found myself blessed with several new friends who suited me much better. It's not always a bad thing, I found out!

40
@ROOTNOTEMUSICBLOG 2023-11-13

In AlAnon we call this “detachment with love”

25
@pe2914 2023-11-13

You are "ALLOWING" YOURSELF TO 'SET YOURSELF FREEEEEEE'!!!🙆‍♀️❣

15
@zohraimam6597 2023-11-13

Setting Boundaries will also be needed before saying let them.

15
@cansozer7612 2023-11-14

Your daughter is as wise as you, Mel. ❤️

11
@annekathleen4498 2025-06-06

I hadn't heard from my family since 2020.....I finally found out that they'd 'forgotten' me. I have now Let them............😀

11
@nrm6573 2026-01-05

I got married after knowing my husband for only 13 months. Loads of people had negative opinions and I "let them". We will be celebrating 10 years of happiness together next month :-)

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