How To Put Yourself First Without Feeling Guilty - Nick Pollard

As a former people pleaser one thing I have noticed is that you will get a HUGE push back from some people in your life when you finally decide to create boundaries or learn to say no. That was the hardest part about it, for me at least. The good thing is as you get older you just don't GAF anymore, so it gets easier to implement.

I think the bigger learning of this episode is that you need your own vision for your life and healthy set of goals (work, physical, spiritual, rest, etc). Lock in. Once you've done that, then you can please others and displease others with much more intent and clarity. Otherwise, you just dragged along in other people's lives, problems, needs etc. It becomes your default and you lose your way as a result.

Hello you savages. Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Here's the timestamps: 00:00 The Trap of People-Pleasing 11:24 Learning to Be Honest With Yourself 17:18 Why People-Pleasers Struggle to Find Joy 22:02 The Cost of Being a People-Pleaser 26:55 When Does Being Considerate Go Too Far? 29:34 How Men & Women People-Please 40:02 Why People Struggle to Advocate for Their Needs 55:37 First Steps to Correcting People-Pleasing 1:05:21 Biggest Misconceptions About Boundaries 1:18:14 Maintaining the Boundaries You Set 1:22:43 How Sensitive People Can Be More Assertive 1:31:09 The Guilt of Choosing Yourself Over Others 1:43:51 The Role of Triggers in People-Pleasing 1:47:35 When to Give Up on Someone 1:50:37 Highly Successful People-Pleasers 2:01:38 Impactful Books for People-Pleasers 2:05:15 Where to Find Nick

Fawning is a recognised stress response, along with fight, flight & freeze

This episode came at the perfect time. I’ve been wanting to quit my job for some time, but I’ve been afraid to because I don’t want to let people down. But I’ve realized not being true to myself is more important than how other people feel.

And Chris is right on being compelled to do the action. It’s not that we want to say yes, but that we just absolutely don’t want to hurt their feelings so much, we can’t say no. That’s not me anymore, but it was me for most of my life.

Totally unrelated but you could see how Chris's face lit up when Nick thanked him at the end. It's Nice that two guys can be so genuine!

This has helped me so much. I NOW understand.

Literally Every single thing you guys said in this episode. Resonated with me. Put me in kind of a state of self recollection and grief/morning.

Vulnerability is power. Many thanks Really appreciate this discussion.