How To Put Yourself First Without Feeling Guilty - Nick Pollard

As a former people pleaser one thing I have noticed is that you will get a HUGE push back from some people in your life when you finally decide to create boundaries or learn to say no. That was the hardest part about it, for me at least. The good thing is as you get older you just don't GAF anymore, so it gets easier to implement.

I think the bigger learning of this episode is that you need your own vision for your life and healthy set of goals (work, physical, spiritual, rest, etc). Lock in. Once you've done that, then you can please others and displease others with much more intent and clarity. Otherwise, you just dragged along in other people's lives, problems, needs etc. It becomes your default and you lose your way as a result.

Hello you savages. Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Here's the timestamps: 00:00 The Trap of People-Pleasing 11:24 Learning to Be Honest With Yourself 17:18 Why People-Pleasers Struggle to Find Joy 22:02 The Cost of Being a People-Pleaser 26:55 When Does Being Considerate Go Too Far? 29:34 How Men & Women People-Please 40:02 Why People Struggle to Advocate for Their Needs 55:37 First Steps to Correcting People-Pleasing 1:05:21 Biggest Misconceptions About Boundaries 1:18:14 Maintaining the Boundaries You Set 1:22:43 How Sensitive People Can Be More Assertive 1:31:09 The Guilt of Choosing Yourself Over Others 1:43:51 The Role of Triggers in People-Pleasing 1:47:35 When to Give Up on Someone 1:50:37 Highly Successful People-Pleasers 2:01:38 Impactful Books for People-Pleasers 2:05:15 Where to Find Nick

Nick has helped me change my life. Thank you for all the free help on ig etc..... I've slowly taken back control of my decisions and life overall.

Fawning is a recognised stress response, along with fight, flight & freeze

This episode came at the perfect time. I’ve been wanting to quit my job for some time, but I’ve been afraid to because I don’t want to let people down. But I’ve realized not being true to myself is more important than how other people feel.

And Chris is right on being compelled to do the action. It’s not that we want to say yes, but that we just absolutely don’t want to hurt their feelings so much, we can’t say no. That’s not me anymore, but it was me for most of my life.

This was a difficult episode for me, thank you Chris and thank you Nick. Needed this one written in stone for reference. God bless!

This episode just feels so real. I always have my doubts on anything I see, especially on the internet but when the things described hit so close to ones own life experience, the realness just punches you in the face.

Totally unrelated but you could see how Chris's face lit up when Nick thanked him at the end. It's Nice that two guys can be so genuine!