The Love Expert: The REAL Reason We’re Lonely, Loveless, Depressed - Alain De Botton, School Of Life

Please work on giving your videos better titles. He is one of the greatest philosophers of our time...to call him a "love expert" is demeaning.

"Love is a skill to be learned, not just an emotion to be felt."💯

People are not getting enough good quality rest. We were not meant to be on high alert - the stress response should be transitory.

As a therapist myself for 37 years, Alain is so articulate and affirming of the importance of the work. Sometimes I really lose track of that because it is such cloistered work and after many years it just feels normal. I lose track of the amazing privilege of witnessing the vulnerability and courage of people. So many of those I see have helped me grow and inspired me even though they came for help themselves. I think Alain is just brilliant. Thanks for this conversation.

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I love this (paraphrased): People always get unwell because of love (not referring to strictly romantic love). All mental unwellness stems from a deficit of love. There is always an experience of an unbearable cruelty in some way that breaks the mind. And when people get well there is always an experience of love that heals. And an act of love saves us/redeems us.

Kids may not need the 'perfect' parent but they must have one that loves them and shows it so the kids know they are loved.

I grew up with a suicidal parent from 6yrs old. She has had many many attenpts in my life. She still does and I'm 50 now. Put herself in a coma and woken up almost a vegetable and sat with her fed her, packed and moved belongings and organised another recovery. My mum and dad's friends messed with me and my sister's. My dad was scared to cuddle any of us because he was a single parent raising four girls. Couldn't understand why we as children weren't loved. Finally talked to my dad at 40 yrs old about the topic and he sobbed and apolgised. My mum, I try to forgive but everything is still about her. Me at 50 working towards recovery from alcohol dependency. Love ain't that grand in some families. I trust a partner and as soon as I feel betrayed, deserted or alone in anyway I am struggling to stay emotionally intimate. I really do try with my own children and probably overcompensate because of my past. I guess at least I am aware of how all past relationships reasonate with the present relationships😢 Still learning and developing my understanding of me and relationships I have with others ❤

Love is a skill to be learned, not just an emotion to be felt.

In minute 21:03 the video was interrupted when he was explaining something very interesting