r/AITA My Deadbeat Mom Came Back After 10 Years
Navigating Grief Tattoos, Parental Loyalty, and Defining True Consent
Learn how to firmly establish personal boundaries when dealing with unsolicited memorialization, decipher the moral weight of severe parental abandonment, and understand the critical difference between consent and acquiescence in intimate relationships.
Short Summary
- The host reviews three distinct conflicts involving deeply personal boundaries: memorialization, parental accountability, and marital intimacy.
- One OP deals with intense discomfort viewing his fiancée's large, realistic tattoo of his deceased brother, whom she barely knew.
- Another OP faces emotional sabotage from his biological mother who reappears after a 10-year absence only to sow doubt about his raising father.
- The final scenario centers on a severe marital crisis triggered when the wife suggests past intimacy was merely acquiescence because the husband wanted it.
- The outcomes generally point toward zero fault for the OPs, emphasizing that unsolicited boundary violations (physical, emotional, sexual) warrant firm rejection, often accompanied by significant judgment toward the offending parties.
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Top Comments (10)
Honestly, as soon as my partner says "technically, you forcefully passionately hugged me", that is the END of that part of the relationship. No CHANCE I am risking her saying it to her friends and they thinking I did something WAY WORSE
"You know, technically you raped me" Aaaaand the relationship is over. Accusation alone is a reputation killer, and now the intimacy is tainted. How will you EVER want to do anything when she can so casually say something like that??
Third Story, NTA: In my opinion, OP needs to leave her. Accusations like that RUIN LIVES. I couldn’t imagine how hard this is on OP given what he went through and how he feels about grape. That honestly would be an instant deal breaker for me. Honestly, early on in my relationship with my girl, I often asked her if she wanted to do xyz with me and if I’m not making her do things she doesn’t want, mostly because I wanted to be sure she was comfortable but another reason is simililar to this. OP is underreacting to this in my opinion
Dabny, I think you are spot on for story 3. Wanting to do something and consenting to do something are very different things. Like you said, I don't always want to work, but I concent to it because I get paid what I feel is a reasonable conpensation. What she is doing is the equivalent of me saying, "I'm a slave because I don't always want to work" which is an obviously stupid thing to say, since no one is forcing me to work against my will (ie. Without consent), and it minimizes the people who really are being abused. She needs some help before she ruins more peoples lives.
Heard story 1 before on another channel. There was a major update. He tried to get her to get it covered or removed. She said no so he broke up with her.
We really need a rule on this subreddit where if a parent abandons you as a child, then comes back when you’re an adult, you are NEVER TA for wanting nothing to do with them… NTA Op thats actually just insane
story 3: NTA. quite frankly, I don't believe she was ever r-worded by her ex if that is her definition of r-word. OP needs to break up with her yesterday. This is just a powder-keg waiting to blow up and ruin his life.
12:39 He better leave her, She actually can send OP TO JAIL
Story 3: End of relationship. She knows what OP has been through and still thinks that's an okay thing to say? And she's getting mad that he isnt consenting now?
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Top Comments (10)
Honestly, as soon as my partner says "technically, you forcefully passionately hugged me", that is the END of that part of the relationship. No CHANCE I am risking her saying it to her friends and they thinking I did something WAY WORSE
"You know, technically you raped me" Aaaaand the relationship is over. Accusation alone is a reputation killer, and now the intimacy is tainted. How will you EVER want to do anything when she can so casually say something like that??
Third Story, NTA: In my opinion, OP needs to leave her. Accusations like that RUIN LIVES. I couldn’t imagine how hard this is on OP given what he went through and how he feels about grape. That honestly would be an instant deal breaker for me. Honestly, early on in my relationship with my girl, I often asked her if she wanted to do xyz with me and if I’m not making her do things she doesn’t want, mostly because I wanted to be sure she was comfortable but another reason is simililar to this. OP is underreacting to this in my opinion
Dabny, I think you are spot on for story 3. Wanting to do something and consenting to do something are very different things. Like you said, I don't always want to work, but I concent to it because I get paid what I feel is a reasonable conpensation. What she is doing is the equivalent of me saying, "I'm a slave because I don't always want to work" which is an obviously stupid thing to say, since no one is forcing me to work against my will (ie. Without consent), and it minimizes the people who really are being abused. She needs some help before she ruins more peoples lives.
Heard story 1 before on another channel. There was a major update. He tried to get her to get it covered or removed. She said no so he broke up with her.
We really need a rule on this subreddit where if a parent abandons you as a child, then comes back when you’re an adult, you are NEVER TA for wanting nothing to do with them… NTA Op thats actually just insane
story 3: NTA. quite frankly, I don't believe she was ever r-worded by her ex if that is her definition of r-word. OP needs to break up with her yesterday. This is just a powder-keg waiting to blow up and ruin his life.
12:39 He better leave her, She actually can send OP TO JAIL
Story 3: End of relationship. She knows what OP has been through and still thinks that's an okay thing to say? And she's getting mad that he isnt consenting now?
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