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You Can’t “Solve” Your Relationship - Arthur Brooks

2025-04-21 People & Blogs
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Chris Williamson
Chris Williamson
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Description

Arthur Brooks is a social scientist, professor at Harvard University, and an author. Can romance and love be decoded? From falling in and out of love to finding “the one,” what does the science say about what makes someone a good partner, best friend, and lifelong companion? Expect to learn if men need marriage more than women do, why women tend to leave bad relationships faster than men, why falling in love makes us do crazy things, what the brain chemistry of love is, if we should be careful about who we let ourselves fall in love with, how you can tell if you’re a compatible romantic partner, but not a compatible best friend, how to overcome contempt and insecurity in a relationship and much more… - 00:00 How Podcasts Are Getting People to Learn More 09:26 The Brain Science of Falling in Love 24:52 Should You Marry Your Best Friend? 30:44 How Dopamine Addicts Fall in Love 37:45 Sex Differences in Jealousy & Desire 46:05 Advice for Insecure Overachievers 51:15 How to Make Long-Distance Relationships Successful 55:58 The Key to Staying in Love 1:06:58 The Environmental Security Hypothesis 1:10:13 Approaching Relationships Like a Business Project 1:14:12 Are Men Becoming Sedated & Useless? 1:21:33 Being a Circuit-Breaker as a Parent 1:26:46 The People Who Get Stuck Overthinking Relationships 1:31:38 Overcoming Contempt in Marriage 1:42:03 What Do You Get Your Energy From? 1:54:37 What You Learn When You Turn Anxiety Into Fear 2:01:38 Where to Find Arthur - Get a 20% discount on Nomatic’s amazing luggage at https://nomatic.com/modernwisdom Get the best bloodwork analysis in America at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Get $350 off the Pod 4 Ultra at https://eightsleep.com/modernwisdom - Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic here - https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Top Comments (10)

@federoffm 2025-04-24

1:19:59 - "The number one predictor of a man being successful is seeing his father loving his mother" "As dad, you have one job. Love her" - That's it, right there. My dad has treated my mother like gold for 65 years. I do my best to do likewise with my wife. I wish every young man could hear this and take it deeply in.

230 3 replies
@thecastaways2 2025-04-22

Arthur Brooks genuinely changed my life. It wasn't his most recent work on happiness, but his book, "Love Your Enemies," which changed my outlook on the world significantly, my outlook on politics, my view on religion, my view of those I consider to be my allies and opponents. I don't know if he will ever see this, but thank you Dr. Brooks, your work changed my life.

79
@federoffm 2025-04-23

I get to live the dream of lasting love, 34 years now with my beloved wife, whom I married just 7 months after I first met her. We were both just 22, with nothing other than a shared vision and a lot of energy, a true “startup marriage” as Chris calls it. “Companionate Love” is absolutely not boring, I promise.

64
@Pablos_lifee 2025-04-21

The main thing I got out of the episode is to turn the anxiety into fear by 1. Writing down the fear 2. What’s the worst that can happen? 3. ^ probability of that happening 4. What would you do if it happened? You dismiss it after it is a fear.

63 1 replies
@ChrisWillx 2025-04-21

Hello you beauties. Get a 20% discount on Nomatic’s amazing luggage at https://nomatic.com/modernwisdom Get the best bloodwork analysis in America at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Get $350 off the Pod 4 Ultra at https://eightsleep.com/modernwisdom Here's the timestamps: 00:00 How Podcasts Are Getting People to Learn More 09:26 The Brain Science of Falling in Love 24:52 Should You Marry Your Best Friend? 30:44 How Dopamine Addicts Fall in Love 37:45 Sex Differences in Jealousy & Desire 46:05 Advice for Insecure Overachievers 51:15 How to Make Long-Distance Relationships Successful 55:58 The Key to Staying in Love 1:06:58 The Environmental Security Hypothesis 1:10:13 Approaching Relationships Like a Business Project 1:14:12 Are Men Becoming Sedated & Useless? 1:21:33 Being a Circuit-Breaker as a Parent 1:26:46 The People Who Get Stuck Overthinking Relationships 1:31:38 Overcoming Contempt in Marriage 1:42:03 What Do You Get Your Energy From? 1:54:37 What You Learn When You Turn Anxiety Into Fear 2:01:38 Where to Find Arthur

29 2 replies
@Mountaingoat1991 2025-04-27

The energy between the two of you is really entertaining. What a lovely, happy yet serious and really insightful conversation. 😌

27
@FleetingArtist 2025-04-25

Loved the guest! Please invite John and Julie Gottman on the podcast, they are amazing relationship experts and you'll learn so much from them!

23
@fj949 2025-04-23

“Life is better together” It’s great to be able to operate solo, and necessary even, but life is so much better in good company

22
@lindalembeck7286 2025-05-16

"If your grandma would hear this result and say that's wrong, she's probably right." Priceless!

10
@daveSoupy 2025-12-31

God he’s so right about business school and it not representing what you’ll see in a real business.

2

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