r/AITA My New Wife Wants to Steal My Kid's Money
Analyzing Four Ethical Dilemmas from r/AmITheButthole Submissions
Learn why failing to act during an emergency, attempting to pool designated inheritance, and competing aggressively against friends can earn you ethical condemnation. Gain clarity on when defending a promise outweighs spousal negotiation.
Short Summary
- Judge harsh criticisms leveled at a seemingly incompetent husband during a medical crisis.
- Assess the moral fallout of refusing to combine a deceased spouse's dedicated inheritance fund with current family savings.
- Determine if intense competitive behavior violates long-standing friendships, even after warnings were issued. This recap covers four submissions to the r/AmITheButthole subreddit, ranging from immediate life-saving scenarios to long-term financial planning disputes, offering ethical reasoning for each judgment.
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Top Comments (10)
Dude wasn’t “trying his best”. He wasn’t even trying at all.
First story is not a good dad. If he needs somebody to hold his hand to parent, that’s NOT parenting
12:32 French African here, perhaps I'm not that legitimate, but I think that, while racism comes from ignorance, not every ignorance regarding race becomes racism.
First story. I'm on the autistic spectrum (diagnosed as an adult in my 40s) and have very little ability to understand other people's needs and wants emotionally. I'm also terrible with unfamiliar things if they come as a surprise. So when I had kids I did what always worked for me. I watched what other people did and learned how to react. It's by no means perfect and I've definitely made mistakes. But even I can tell this guy's useless. He has four kids. He's had time. There's just no excuse for being this bad a parent.
OMGS, that garbage dude was a life threatening level of useless. That poor woman would have been safer if he wasn't even in the house. I hope she recovered all right.
Honestly the part about "Monique being a french name" it's clearly not from bad intent, especially in the south, in france it's an older name that you don't see much at all and the only other non black diaspora where you'd find a Monique reliably is Quebec, like yeah maybe he didn't know but even then, if you're in California and someone mentions an Enrique nobody would give you flack for assuming they were Mexican if they actually came from Spain
Fourth Story, NTA: How is kicking out a racist "blowing things out of proportion"? Greg was being racist towards Monique and OP wasn't letting that slide. The fact that Greg's parents are pretty much letting this slide is worrying because they are the first people I could think of to where Greg got this behavior from. I have to disagree with the comments. As a black man myself, Monique is a VERY common name in the black community. I'm not saying they are wrong about the origin of the name but Monique is a very common name for African-Americans, hell I know a few Moniques myself
Paintball Story: NTA. They are surprised? This is a tournament, why do they EXPECT OP and her boyfriend to go easy on them, just because they are new? They are asking for leniency in a TOURNAMENT. What, are they gonna get mad at the others for destroying them too? Again, this is a TOURNAMENT, of course others are gonna try hard.
The first guy is another child, not a parent.
Last story: As a black woman who grew up in Charleston, SC, that hit a bit close to home. My name is also French but growing up teachers acted like it was too "exotic" for them to pronounce. Had one "friend" get it wrong and responded with "I'm sorry. I'm not used to ghetto slang names." Fast forward and I moved to NC, no one has gotten my name wrong unless it was in cursive and they had trouble reading it. In hindsight, I think my teachers and other outside adults kept trying to "blackify" my name and that's why they kept getting it wrong.
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Top Comments (10)
Dude wasn’t “trying his best”. He wasn’t even trying at all.
First story is not a good dad. If he needs somebody to hold his hand to parent, that’s NOT parenting
12:32 French African here, perhaps I'm not that legitimate, but I think that, while racism comes from ignorance, not every ignorance regarding race becomes racism.
First story. I'm on the autistic spectrum (diagnosed as an adult in my 40s) and have very little ability to understand other people's needs and wants emotionally. I'm also terrible with unfamiliar things if they come as a surprise. So when I had kids I did what always worked for me. I watched what other people did and learned how to react. It's by no means perfect and I've definitely made mistakes. But even I can tell this guy's useless. He has four kids. He's had time. There's just no excuse for being this bad a parent.
OMGS, that garbage dude was a life threatening level of useless. That poor woman would have been safer if he wasn't even in the house. I hope she recovered all right.
Honestly the part about "Monique being a french name" it's clearly not from bad intent, especially in the south, in france it's an older name that you don't see much at all and the only other non black diaspora where you'd find a Monique reliably is Quebec, like yeah maybe he didn't know but even then, if you're in California and someone mentions an Enrique nobody would give you flack for assuming they were Mexican if they actually came from Spain
Fourth Story, NTA: How is kicking out a racist "blowing things out of proportion"? Greg was being racist towards Monique and OP wasn't letting that slide. The fact that Greg's parents are pretty much letting this slide is worrying because they are the first people I could think of to where Greg got this behavior from. I have to disagree with the comments. As a black man myself, Monique is a VERY common name in the black community. I'm not saying they are wrong about the origin of the name but Monique is a very common name for African-Americans, hell I know a few Moniques myself
Paintball Story: NTA. They are surprised? This is a tournament, why do they EXPECT OP and her boyfriend to go easy on them, just because they are new? They are asking for leniency in a TOURNAMENT. What, are they gonna get mad at the others for destroying them too? Again, this is a TOURNAMENT, of course others are gonna try hard.
The first guy is another child, not a parent.
Last story: As a black woman who grew up in Charleston, SC, that hit a bit close to home. My name is also French but growing up teachers acted like it was too "exotic" for them to pronounce. Had one "friend" get it wrong and responded with "I'm sorry. I'm not used to ghetto slang names." Fast forward and I moved to NC, no one has gotten my name wrong unless it was in cursive and they had trouble reading it. In hindsight, I think my teachers and other outside adults kept trying to "blackify" my name and that's why they kept getting it wrong.