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You Learn This Too Late: Understanding This Will Change the Way You Look at Your Relationships

2025-07-28 People & Blogs
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Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
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Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — In this episode, you’ll discover how your childhood shaped who you are today—and the hidden parenting mistakes that impact every relationship you have. You’ll also learn tools for excellent parenting and how to improve any relationship, including with your own parents, siblings, partner, kids, and friends. Joining Mel today is Dr. Aliza Pressman, PhD. Dr. Pressman is a world‑renowned developmental psychologist, professor at Mount Sinai, director of The Mount Sinai Parenting Center, and author of the New York Times bestseller The 5 Principles of Parenting. For over two decades, she’s been teaching parents practical science‑backed tools to raise emotionally healthy, resilient kids—and to become better, more grounded humans in the process. Today, Dr. Pressman breaks down 5 principles that will change how you parent forever. You’ll hear the research on how early experiences shape who you become, why oversacrificing for your kids backfires, and the surprising ways criticizing your partner or ex can quietly wound your child for life. You’ll also learn protocols for excellent parenting and how to improve relationships of all kinds, from setting boundaries that actually work, to repairing after you’ve lost your cool, to strengthening your child’s inner voice by changing the way you talk to yourself. This isn’t just about raising kids. It’s about learning how to be a better human (and raise one too). Whether you’re parenting toddlers, teenagers, or adult children—or simply trying to understand the impact your own parents had on you—this conversation will give you clear, actionable tools you can use immediately. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-311/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Meet the Guest 01:28 What Makes a Good Parent? 07:29 The 5 Principles of Parenting 23:10 Is It Too Late to Heal? 26:37 How to Raise a Resilient Child 39:49 Have You Made a Parenting Mistake? 51:09 How to Handle Meltdowns and Tantrums 56:59 Navigating Co-Parenting Conflicts 01:11:52 What to Do When You Mess Up — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Top Comments (10)

@BinithaA-t2u 2025-08-04

Honestly, it breaks my heart how Manifest the Unseen by Luna Rivers isn’t getting the attention it deserves. This book changed me. People need to wake up to this.

269
@benedictlam7582 2025-07-28

"All feelings are welcome, all behaviours are not" - this is gold!

210 3 replies
@tayyibahkhan1585 2025-07-28

Crying through this podcast because I have two kids one and four and I’m having such a hard time bc I just don’t know what to do because I didn’t have my parent there for me in an emotional way. Because of sibling order and just being second oldest and a quiet kid. I’m not actually quiet but as a kid I was. This science is so relieving. I just feel bad for everything I do. This explains so much. I don’t know how to parent my kids and I also have so much anxiety about everything I’m doing and when I screw up and get upset. I’m close with them but knowing the boundaries are okay and to work on self is okay is amazing.

128 24 replies
@bobbimiller7651 2025-07-28

My children are young adults (17. 21, and 25). I changed my mindset from wanting the absolute best for them to wanting them to be healthy and happy in their own lives. The key being THEIR OWN LIVES. I've always put them first, myself second. Now that they are grown, I'm learning who I am and letting them be who they are.

90 3 replies
@sonja897 2025-07-28

Now that I am 68 years old I believe that my parents did the best that they could.

49 10 replies
@mama_abudance 2025-08-07

People always ask me why I coparent so well with my ex despite all the things he has done. I tell them because my motto is “I will always love my kids more than I dislike my ex.” Hating your ex doesn’t punish them, it just tortures the kids.

32 1 replies
@cindysmyth580 2025-07-29

My ex did everything possible to turn my kids away from me even making them testify in court but I was never angry at my children and I never talked bad about their father as they grew up and they saw the truth. And I apologize for anything they felt that I did and I allowed them to have their feelings about it. My relationship with my children as adults is loving and caring 💓

29
@zucherobakes2454 2025-07-29

At 38, having grown up with an absent father and an abusive mother, it hurt alot when i had the realisation that the problems i face with impulsivity, boundaries, inability to regulate and so much more. Healing from the abuse and grieving what i didnt receive was the first step. Now i am at a space where i am my own parent, I support my child self and even my now self. Setting boundaries, providing myself with the support and love i deserved as a child. That has helped with the healing.

11
@LauraMihai93 2025-08-26

I will never forget the day when my mother, who has passed away, said: “I know I made many mistakes when I was raising you, and I wish I had done things differently. It wasn’t your fault, and you shouldn’t have had to go through that.” I was 25, and it meant the world to me. It’s never too late. 5 years later, she died of brain cancer and I miss her so much. I am a motherless mom now and I try my best to raise my boy. I wish she was still here to see me.

7
@AmandaBuss-n2o 2025-08-07

Repair has no expiration date but the more time that passes the more harm is done and the hard it is going to be to make the other person feel safe and trust you.

3

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