You Learn This Too Late: Understanding This Will Change the Way You Look at Your Relationships
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Top Comments (10)
Honestly, it breaks my heart how Manifest the Unseen by Luna Rivers isn’t getting the attention it deserves. This book changed me. People need to wake up to this.
"All feelings are welcome, all behaviours are not" - this is gold!
Crying through this podcast because I have two kids one and four and I’m having such a hard time bc I just don’t know what to do because I didn’t have my parent there for me in an emotional way. Because of sibling order and just being second oldest and a quiet kid. I’m not actually quiet but as a kid I was. This science is so relieving. I just feel bad for everything I do. This explains so much. I don’t know how to parent my kids and I also have so much anxiety about everything I’m doing and when I screw up and get upset. I’m close with them but knowing the boundaries are okay and to work on self is okay is amazing.
My children are young adults (17. 21, and 25). I changed my mindset from wanting the absolute best for them to wanting them to be healthy and happy in their own lives. The key being THEIR OWN LIVES. I've always put them first, myself second. Now that they are grown, I'm learning who I am and letting them be who they are.
Now that I am 68 years old I believe that my parents did the best that they could.
People always ask me why I coparent so well with my ex despite all the things he has done. I tell them because my motto is “I will always love my kids more than I dislike my ex.” Hating your ex doesn’t punish them, it just tortures the kids.
My ex did everything possible to turn my kids away from me even making them testify in court but I was never angry at my children and I never talked bad about their father as they grew up and they saw the truth. And I apologize for anything they felt that I did and I allowed them to have their feelings about it. My relationship with my children as adults is loving and caring 💓
At 38, having grown up with an absent father and an abusive mother, it hurt alot when i had the realisation that the problems i face with impulsivity, boundaries, inability to regulate and so much more. Healing from the abuse and grieving what i didnt receive was the first step. Now i am at a space where i am my own parent, I support my child self and even my now self. Setting boundaries, providing myself with the support and love i deserved as a child. That has helped with the healing.
I will never forget the day when my mother, who has passed away, said: “I know I made many mistakes when I was raising you, and I wish I had done things differently. It wasn’t your fault, and you shouldn’t have had to go through that.” I was 25, and it meant the world to me. It’s never too late. 5 years later, she died of brain cancer and I miss her so much. I am a motherless mom now and I try my best to raise my boy. I wish she was still here to see me.
Repair has no expiration date but the more time that passes the more harm is done and the hard it is going to be to make the other person feel safe and trust you.
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Top Comments (10)
Honestly, it breaks my heart how Manifest the Unseen by Luna Rivers isn’t getting the attention it deserves. This book changed me. People need to wake up to this.
"All feelings are welcome, all behaviours are not" - this is gold!
Crying through this podcast because I have two kids one and four and I’m having such a hard time bc I just don’t know what to do because I didn’t have my parent there for me in an emotional way. Because of sibling order and just being second oldest and a quiet kid. I’m not actually quiet but as a kid I was. This science is so relieving. I just feel bad for everything I do. This explains so much. I don’t know how to parent my kids and I also have so much anxiety about everything I’m doing and when I screw up and get upset. I’m close with them but knowing the boundaries are okay and to work on self is okay is amazing.
My children are young adults (17. 21, and 25). I changed my mindset from wanting the absolute best for them to wanting them to be healthy and happy in their own lives. The key being THEIR OWN LIVES. I've always put them first, myself second. Now that they are grown, I'm learning who I am and letting them be who they are.
Now that I am 68 years old I believe that my parents did the best that they could.
People always ask me why I coparent so well with my ex despite all the things he has done. I tell them because my motto is “I will always love my kids more than I dislike my ex.” Hating your ex doesn’t punish them, it just tortures the kids.
My ex did everything possible to turn my kids away from me even making them testify in court but I was never angry at my children and I never talked bad about their father as they grew up and they saw the truth. And I apologize for anything they felt that I did and I allowed them to have their feelings about it. My relationship with my children as adults is loving and caring 💓
At 38, having grown up with an absent father and an abusive mother, it hurt alot when i had the realisation that the problems i face with impulsivity, boundaries, inability to regulate and so much more. Healing from the abuse and grieving what i didnt receive was the first step. Now i am at a space where i am my own parent, I support my child self and even my now self. Setting boundaries, providing myself with the support and love i deserved as a child. That has helped with the healing.
I will never forget the day when my mother, who has passed away, said: “I know I made many mistakes when I was raising you, and I wish I had done things differently. It wasn’t your fault, and you shouldn’t have had to go through that.” I was 25, and it meant the world to me. It’s never too late. 5 years later, she died of brain cancer and I miss her so much. I am a motherless mom now and I try my best to raise my boy. I wish she was still here to see me.
Repair has no expiration date but the more time that passes the more harm is done and the hard it is going to be to make the other person feel safe and trust you.