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Create a Happier Version of Yourself: Redirect Your Energy for Positive Thinking

2026-07-02 Education
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Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
5.9m subscribers

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Description

In this episode, you will learn how to take back your power when you’re in the midst of change, stress, or uncertainty, and then redirect your energy for self-transformation. If there’s an area of your life that you’re feeling unhappy about and want to take control over, today’s episode will show you exactly what to do. Joining Mel in this deeply personal episode is her 21-year-old son Oakley. He candidly shares how he went from feeling stuck and lonely, to finally feeling happy again, and the simple mindset shifts and changes that made the biggest difference. He and Mel openly unpack how to go from feeling unhappy about a situation you feel like you don’t have a lot of control over, and how to move through it. In this episode, you’ll learn: -How the fantasy version of your past keeps you from seeing what’s possible now -How to know whether it’s you or the situation that needs to change -Why it’s unfair to criticize where you are if you haven’t done this one thing -How long you should give a new situation before deciding if it’s the right fit -The 4 things you may be doing to keep you stuck and unhappy -The signs that you’re “quietly quitting” the situation you’re in -The science of luck and what happy people do to make their own luck -The first thing you need to do when you’re unhappy and want your life to feel different Here’s the hard truth: nobody is coming to rescue you - and that’s good news. It means you have more power than you think. The moment you see what’s keeping you stuck, you can start changing it. After today, you’ll know exactly what needs to change first. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-410/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Meet the Guest 04:20 The 4 Reasons Life Changes So Hard 09:23 How to Find Happiness Right Where You Are 23:21 The Power of Saying Yes 32:15 How to Create Your Own Luck 37:03 What Stops You From Being Happy 46:20 If You Change Nothing, Nothing Changes 56:05 The Reason You Need to Keep Going Expedia. The one place you go to go places. — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Top Comments (10)

@ZekeZorn 2026-07-03

It blows my mind how “Rise Beyond Riches” by Arlen Viorra is so underrated. This book has some of the most life-changing knowledge on wealth you’ll ever find.

235
@dianeluiz5966 2026-07-02

What an incredible gift to be able to have a conversation like this with your child. Sigh.

54 2 replies
@julieellis7288 2026-07-02

I needed to hear this. I went through a divorce several years ago during Covid and a part of me still compares my life now to when I was married. I don’t miss my ex. Things were rocky the last few years but I miss the financial security and the dream I’m having a family and someone to grow old with. My life is so different than my friends and sometimes it’s hard not to compare and for them to relate to what I’m going through. After listening to this, though, I realizing I need to reset. I’m going to make the most of this single chapter of my life. Thank you, Mel!

25
@ToursWithThaisa 2026-07-02

I had no expectations for this episode besides knowing it should be interesting. In the end, it was so much more! Such an insightful conversation. You can feel Oak’s happy energy at the end. May God bless you and your family. Thank you (and Oak for agreeing) for sharing this with us.

16
@pattiney3890 2026-07-04

This was amazing! Oakley is so mature! I appreciate his honesty and positivity! Can't wait to see what the future holds for him!

12
@marlycecartie7032 2026-07-02

Gosh... as a mom this episode is everything!! I love being a part of you and Oakley's talks. So moving and real. Good job momma!! Oakley, I can not wait to see what you do in this world. Shine bright!

11
@VitaNHealth 2026-07-08

Mel, you raised an incredible young man. Oakley is so articulate and self-aware. Loved every minute of this episode!

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@RochusMarianEder 2026-07-08

This is one of the most honest breakdowns of why transitions feel so much harder than they should, and it applies directly to what I see in teenagers navigating any big change, not just college. "You can't open a new door if you're gripping the old one" names exactly what happens in the nervous system during comparison. The brain keeps scanning the old environment as the reference point for safety, which keeps the whole system stuck in a defensive, "shrinking" state instead of an open, curious one. What fascinates me as a neuroscience coach is that Oakley's checklist, presence, energy, full commitment, willingness to change, maps almost perfectly onto how the prefrontal cortex, what I call Mr. PFC in the comic-style coloring book I created for tweens and teens, learns to override the amygdala's pull toward the familiar and safe. Thank you both for this one, "if you change nothing, nothing changes" is a sentence I'll be sharing with a lot of parents and teens this week.

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@briceniacicilia9816 2026-07-08

It takes courage to bring family members into an episode like this because it's such a delicate topic. It reminds us that everyone faces challenges in life and that none of us is perfect. We all carry our own baggage, but what matters most is how we choose to grow from it and make the best of our lives.

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@kaychristophertv938 2026-07-07

This was a fantastic conversation. Mel, am sure you are so proud of Oakley. What a lovely, mature, emotionally intelligent, wise person you have raised. I learned a lot and the timing was great for me. Oakley, thanks so much for sharing your vulnerability and wisdom and letting me learn from you. You are a bright light in the world, like your mom!

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