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How to Find Your True Purpose & Create Your Best Life | Dr. James Hollis

2024-05-13 Science & Technology
2.6m
41.0k
2.1k
Andrew Huberman
Andrew Huberman
7.6m subscribers

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Description

In this episode, my guest is Dr. James Hollis, Ph.D., a Jungian psychoanalyst, renowned educator and author on finding and pursuing one’s unique purpose. Dr. Hollis is also an expert in the psychology of relationships and healing from trauma. We discuss how early family dynamics and social context create patterns of both adaptive and maladaptive behavior and internal narratives that, when examined, lead to better choices and a deeply fulfilling existence. We discuss discovering your unique self-identity and purpose through specific practices of reflection, meditation and conversations with others. We also discuss self-perception and the evolution of roles within marriages, parent-child relationships, and work. Throughout the episode, Dr. Hollis provides both basic knowledge and practical tools to help us assess ourselves and better understand who we are and what we really want in careers, relationships of all kinds, and society. Access the full show notes for this episode: https://go.hubermanlab.com/cNcfTmo *Thank you to our sponsors* AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Mateína: https://drinkmateina.com/huberman Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/huberman Waking Up: https://wakingup.com/huberman *Follow Huberman Lab* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab Threads: https://www.threads.net/@hubermanlab Twitter: https://twitter.com/hubermanlab Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hubermanlab TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hubermanlab LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-huberman Website: https://www.hubermanlab.com Newsletter: https://www.hubermanlab.com/newsletter *Dr. James Hollis* Website: https://jameshollis.net Books: https://jameshollis.net/hollisBooks.html Jung Platform: https://bit.ly/3yjVhTJ Videos: https://jameshollis.net/hollisVideos.html Upcoming lectures: https://jameshollis.net/hollisLecture.htm *Timestamps* 00:00:00 Dr. James Hollis 00:02:14 Sponsors: Mateina, Joovv & BetterHelp 00:05:57 Self, Ego, Sense of Self 00:13:59 Unconscious Patterns, Blind Spots, Dreams; Psyche & Meaning 00:21:56 Second Half of Life, Purpose, Depression 00:25:37 Sponsor: AG1 00:27:08 Tool: Daily Reflection; Crisis 00:31:47 Families & Children, Permission & Burdens 00:37:27 Complex Identification, Self-Perception; Social Media & Borderline 00:41:55 Daily Stimulus Response, Listening to the Soul 00:45:40 Exiting Stimulus-Response, Loneliness, Burnout 00:51:19 Meditation & Perception, Reflection 00:54:58 Sponsor: Waking Up 00:56:15 Recognizing the “Shadow” & Adulthood 01:02:48 Socialization; Family & Life Journey 01:09:04 Relationships & “Otherness”, Standing Your Ground 01:15:51 Marriage, “Starter Marriages” & Evolution; Parenting 01:19:37 Shadow Issues, Success & External Reward, Personal Growth 01:27:59 Men, Alcohol, “Stoic Man”, Loneliness, Fear & Longing 01:37:33 Women & Men, Focused vs. Diffuse Awareness; Male Rite of Passage 01:44:31 Sacrifice, Relationships; Facing Fears 01:48:20 Therapy, “Abyss of the Self”, Repeating Patterns & Stories 01:55:17 Women, Career & Family, Partner Support; Redefining Roles 02:01:40 Pathology & Diagnosis, Internet 02:07:05 Life, Suffering & Accountability, “Swamplands” & Task 02:11:32 Abuse & Recovery of Self, Patience, Powerlessness 02:14:11 Living a Larger Life; “Shut Up, Suit Up, Show Up” 02:17:49 Life Stages; Despair & Integrity Conflict 02:25:00 Death, Ego, Mortality & Meaning 02:38:07 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter #HubermanLab Disclaimer: https://www.hubermanlab.com/disclaimer

Top Comments (10)

@ToddM7 2024-05-13

At 84, Dr. Hollis' mental/verbal clarity and speed is exceptionally high. It's inspiring.

1.8k 29 replies
@juliehayes9315 2024-05-15

I’m genuinely in awe of James Hollis’ intellect, wisdom and compassion. For me, this is one of your best

1.4k 27 replies
@matiasrichards 2024-05-14

1. What are the stories we are living? 2. We live reacting to everything that happens to us. Do we have other options? 3. I'm accountable for what I have lived so far. 4. Everything is conditionable. Everything has a condition. 5. Serving the self is not selfish. 6. What does one really want? 7. Reflecting on my dreams with coffee every morning. 8. Psychology in Greek: 'Pay attention to the soul.' 9. Escape from any stimulus. Everything is a stimulus. 10. Find the place. Tolerate being with yourself, and if you really pay attention, something will start coming up. 11. Healthy response to whatever life brings up. 12. Look for people that can see what we cannot see. 13. Taking responsibility for my shadow and stop blaming others. 14. You become larger than what happened to you. 15. When you are done with your fears, the fears of others won't be so threatening. 16. Is this your life or someone else's? Some people just keep living reactively. 17. Tell me not your politics or your religion, tell me your suffering. 18. Pay attention, honor what emerges, and have courage to deal with it. We can live in a different way.

1.2k 33 replies
@hubermanlab 2024-05-24

Thank you for watching. If you enjoyed this topic and episode, please click the "like" button and subscribe to our channel here on YouTube. Thank you for your interest in science!

751 41 replies
@Meesk24 2024-05-18

“I’m not here to fit in; I’m here to be who I am”

541 7 replies
@sladereagan 2024-05-17

This has been my favorite Andrew Huberman episode ever. Round of applause for James Hollis 👏🏼

193 2 replies
@doctorpepper-45 2024-07-15

This guy is one of the best interviewers I’ve seen in a while. Most of them interrupt their guests and it’s extremely annoying. I love how he allows his guests to complete their answers.

134 1 replies
@ginnyyoung6763 2024-05-25

"What was once protective can become restrictive later on." Powerful.

84
@Secret_Code 2025-10-15

I’ve listened to this episode four times since it came out — the only podcast I’ve ever replayed this much. This conversation is a timeless reminder (I imagine for Andrew and James as well). Thanks for this conversation 🙏🏻

26
@missmolly5129 2025-12-23

God I love how each of you is silent when the other one speaks. No fretting, no interruptions. Not to even mention the beautiful level of vocabulary used. Great interview! James Hollis' work is my current preocuppation together with Richard Schwartz'.

8 1 replies

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