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You Learn This Too Late: This One Idea Might Change Your Entire Life

2024-06-20 People & Blogs
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Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
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Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — Today’s episode is a wake-up call. By the time you finish listening, you’ll have an entirely different approach to how you think about life. This is one of the most profound and insightful episodes of all time on The Mel Robbins Podcast. Joining Mel today is the renowned clinical psychologist and spiritual teacher, Dr. Shefali. This conversation strikes deep into the core of what it means to be alive and the mistakes that you are likely to make in every relationship you have. It is an invitation for you to really consider your own experience and how your parent-child relationship impacted you, including how you show up in your day-to-day life and how you do (or will) show up as a parent. Dr. Shefali will help you break cycles and reparent yourself. She’ll give you the steps to find your authentic self and maybe even have a spiritual awakening. And you’ll learn the BEST advice for raising kids (and supporting adult children) that Mel has ever heard. Dr. Shefali received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University. She's an expert in family dynamics and is known as the pioneer of the conscious parenting movement. She specializes in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy and is a New York Times bestselling author of 7 books. Her simple words will change how you think about yourself, your life, and your relationships in a whole new way. Dr. Shefali’s website: https://www.drshefali.com/ For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-185 Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. 3:45: What is conscious parenting? 7:38: The greatest gift that comes from conscious parenting. 9:56: What conscious parenting can teach you if you are not a parent. 12:10: The problem with wanting your child to be happy. 17:00: The REAL reason that we should have children. 19:56 The most toxic parenting behavior. 22:49: What a controlling parenting style signals to your child. 29:43: Why it is so hard for parents to release control over their children. 33:08: How to stop making your parent, child, or significant other the enemy. 36:16: The importance of having compassion for where your parents came from. 39:46: Conscious parenting is not a label. it’s this instead. 42:41: How to start letting go of control. 45:00: How to help someone dealing with anxiety and depression, instead of controlling them. 51:42: Simple things parents can do to model being in the present moment. 54:18: How social media is impacting children and their ability to connect. 58:19: You NEED to hear this if you’re a parent feeling guilty about the past. 1:01:17: Parenting expert says to check this when sitting with someone you love. 1:05:00: What unconditional love is really showing. 1:06:47: Do this to connect with your adult child. 1:08:36: What is the balance between support and control? 1:11:45: How to rebuild a relationship that you feel you grew apart from. 1:15:25: The TRUTH about boundaries. 1:19:55: What to do when someone you love is in a destructive relationship. 1:23:50: THIS is the greatest act of love. 1:26:00: What to do if you start asking yourself “what now?” 1:28:03: How to answer the question, “who am I?” 1:33:11: If there’s one thing you take away from this, let it be this. — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Top Comments (10)

@dianajohnson2869 2024-06-30

Best thing my parents have ever done for me since I can remember is whenever I walked into the room they acted like I was the best thing since sliced bread and now at almost 50 they still do it. I always felt loved, validated , seen, heard and accepted! I do it for my kids because I don't know any different, it's what I learned!

48 2 replies
@chereeburtner4659 2024-06-20

I think parents miss the boat sometimes when our adult children grow up. The parents are still treating adult children as small children. When I realized I was looking at my adult children as adults with gifts, intellect, compassion,humor,love, etc. I became so curious as what they thought of the world. Their schedules, their work, their passions. I wanted a coffee chat daily! They are amazing people. I love being with them. Only thing. They live many miles away. I miss them because I really like them!

144 7 replies
@maritzatacoronte5801 2024-06-20

How .. How do you NOT ugly cry when you sit across someone who is giving you SO MUCH realness and AHA moments. I loved and Shared this Ep with my Daughter and my sister. WOW

20
@juliecoppee994 2024-06-21

He is 9 years old, i realized by trusting him and him feeling that i do trust him, gave him this sense of confidence and self love for himself. But its only when i started trusting me.

11
@genny8136 2026-03-05

Oh wow i felt it. 58:25 ❤ When we are adult so much parents lost genuine curiosity without CONTROL for their adult child life.

0
@aliciathom9633 2024-06-21

What a great episode. At 69 I am in the process of exploring my relationship with myself, my 92 year old mother, 4 adult children, their partners and our four young granddaughters. 🙏🏻

10
@sanchezhandymen3444 2024-06-20

I have always said that you do not own your kids, they are just for you to raise them. They have there own life journey. We raise them for 18-25 years (mostly) then they have 50-60-70 more years to live life.

14
@hassnatahmad5339 2024-06-20

I would really appreciate to see more episodes like this! How external factors affect human behaviours and human emotion. Im Intrigued to become knowledgeable about human behaviour too!

17
@Lori-j9f 2024-06-22

Speechless! I am shocked at how much this episode has impacted me- NOW!!! Mom of 2 boys - oops, MEN (soo hard to change that paradigm!!) my sons are 26 and 28 yrs old. Letting them BE themselves- is apparently a new concept for me - Dr.Shefali’s message has profoundly resonated with me on countless levels! I dare say, some of which I am still to discover. WoW!!!!

6
@OmranSheikh 2025-04-23

20 minutes in and this is already changing my paradigms. 🙏

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