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The #1 Relationship Researchers in the World: 50 Years of Marriage & Love Advice in One Conversation

2026-06-18 Education
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Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
5.9m subscribers

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Description

Today’s episode is one of the most eye-opening conversations about marriage, love, and relationships you will ever hear. Whether you're married, dating, single, divorced, or in a long term relationship, get ready for the gift of the Gottmans. Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman are the world’s leading relationship researchers. For over 50 years, they have studied thousands of couples, published hundreds of research papers, written 52 books, and changed the way the world understands love. And what they are sharing today is simple but life-changing: It’s not whether you have conflict that determines if your relationship lasts. It’s how you handle it. Today you are going to learn: -How the first 3 minutes of a fight can predict divorce -The 4 most common behaviors in every relationship that drive people apart -3 simple questions for your next date night that create real connection -The #1 predictor that a marriage will last (it’s not chemistry or sex) -One 10-minute Sunday habit that makes you both feel like you’re on the same team -“Turning away” vs. “turning against” - the tiny moments that make your partner feel loved… or alone If you’re feeling like you and your partner have become roommates who barely see each other, you’re not alone. Nobody taught you how to do this. And even if you had great role models, marriage comes with challenges no one can fully prepare you for. So let this episode be your wake-up call – and the way back to each other. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-405/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Top Comments (10)

@ThompsonNancy-j4q 2026-06-20

I used to scroll past comments where people recommended random books, but here I am now doing the same. That’s how much Glow They Never Saw by Zael Veynor impacted me. It’s one of those rare books that doesn’t just give advice - it makes you feel understood and then pushes you to grow

85 1 replies
@Neuroshiftdaily 2026-06-18

Great relationships are not built on luck alone. They are built on patterns, habits, and the willingness to keep learning each other. 🧠

79
@jenpetunia 2026-06-18

I’m listening to this on my 43rd anniversary and realize we can always learn something new, if you really want to!

58 2 replies
@Katebotnaru 2026-06-18

This lovely couple needs their own podcast ❤ they are an instant inspiration we have much to learn from them

32 1 replies
@lish_dizon 2026-06-18

As someone who's not knowledgeable on how to navigate relationships and being neurodivergent, the gottmans' way of explaining relationships make my brain understand. I clicked on this podcast with an open mind with whatever information I could learn. I haven't finished the episode yet, but I'm seeing how my own traits can be improved. And I appreciate the sample role-plays, my brain understands that. Thank you to the Gottmans and thanks, Mel.

25 1 replies
@DebGrimaldi 2026-06-18

Beautiful couple. You can see their mutual respect

10
@cam1259 2026-06-19

Listened to this three times in a row...I was doing my weekly house cleaning but woah blown away! I am a conflict avoider 100%. This was very helpful. Thank you! We just celebrated 10 years of marriage.

6
@ThatsMe1971 2026-06-19

That kitchen argument skit was literally me and my husband 😅 almost word for word...definitely got some new insight there

2
@thecommunitygab 2026-06-19

How is it that I’ve literally never thought of conflict as a way to understand my partner better and see things from their perspective? I’ve only thought of it as a source of unbalance and something wrong between us - I love this new way of seeing it!

2
@marygrogan6101 2026-06-21

Fascinating. I was cleaning out my dresser drawer and had a print out of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse from some time ago, and here you are with these two lovely people discussing it.

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