Navigate Select ESC Close

Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels Impossible & What to Do About It

2025-02-10 People & Blogs
148.0k
4.5k
483
Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
5.7m subscribers

Unlock all features

FREE: Get instant access to 10 AI summaries, chats, or transcripts per day.

Description

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — If you’ve ever found yourself wondering “where did all my friends go?” or felt like making friends as an adult is impossible, you are not alone. In today’s episode, Mel is breaking down the surprising reasons why friendship feels so much harder in adulthood—and, more importantly, how to change that. In this episode, you’ll learn: The three essential pillars for creating deep, lasting friendships. Why you may be experiencing a “friendship recession” How to stop taking friendship shifts personally. How to use The Let Them Theory to take a more flexible approach to friendship. A simple, step-by-step plan to find and keep incredible friends at any stage of life. Mel also shares shocking research that will change the way you think about friendships—including how long it really takes to form a close bond and the single most important factor in building lasting connections. If you feel lonely, disconnected, or simply want to strengthen the friendships you already have, this episode will give you the exact roadmap you need. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-262 Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Welcome 1:02 What The Rules of Adult Friendship Are 4:43 The Great Scattering 14:49 The Three Pillars of Friendship 32:51 The Rubber Band Rule of Friendship 38:01 Using The Let Them Theory With Friends 40:48 The Truth About Adult Friendships 52:50 Your Step-by-Step Guide to Making Adult Friends 1:03:00 How to Ask for Help (and Get It) 1:06:29 Your Best Friendships Are Still Ahead of You — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Top Comments (10)

@Thriveology25 2025-02-10

Making friends as an adult feels impossible because people are busy with work, family, and responsibilities, making socializing less of a priority. Unlike childhood, where friendships form naturally through school or activities, adults have to be intentional about meeting new people. Plus, trust takes time to build, and many already have established social circles.

297 23 replies
@judyrussell1853 2025-02-10

I'm glad someone is talking about this topic. It's really hard when you have no adult friendships.

166 6 replies
@DailyDimeDinners 2025-02-10

Its important to have different Types of Friendships – Some friends are for deep conversations, while others might be more for casual fun. Both are valuable.

118 6 replies
@Jalleur14325 2025-03-09

I feel like people just aren't interested in friendships. I have frequently tried to initiate new friendships - with the mindset of 'be proactive' but I find that people simply don't seem to be interested. I started to wonder - is it me? But then I realized that other people complain of the same thing. It's sad. Then there are those people that you assume are your friends and then totally disappoint you. I've decided to stick with the few friends (albeit a long way away), and just go to activities and that's all. If friendships emerge naturally then great, if not then I won't stress anymore.

115 7 replies
@heartoflightning 2025-02-10

Love hearing Mel's gems 💚An elderly deceased friend said that the hardest thing about growing old (80+) was that loss of friends. He also said that the greatest gift was finding interest in other people 🙂 and that can bring you new friends throughout your life.

97 5 replies
@nizjus3234 2025-02-10

As many here pointed out, it is about healthy people. As a psychotherapist myself I know a lot of people who never make an effort - the let them theory cannot mean that you keep forgiving friends for being unattentive forgetting about you, never making effort

83 10 replies
@amandakate1247 2025-02-26

“Some of your best friendships are ahead of you” 🙌

52 1 replies
@dianeskolka7708 2025-03-08

Having a close friendship with yourself first is paramount. Knowing your values and accepting who you are. Then you have the foundation to make friends in adulthood. They need to be the icing on the cake, not the cake itself.

47 2 replies
@Vibe_Up_Life 2025-02-10

Making friends as an adult feels tough because we expect it to happen naturally, like when we were kids. But the truth is, friendship isn’t about convenience anymore—it’s about intention. Show up, be curious, and let connections grow from there. Just try not to overthink it all (something I do ALL the time 😂) ❤💪

45
@amychvs 2025-02-10

I'm in awe right now reading comments, so many of us here with similarities

43 1 replies

Unlock the Data Inside
Turn Videos into Knowledge

  • Get FREE 10/day: transcripts, summaries, chats
  • Chat with videos, export text & PDF
  • $1 free API credit for RAG, chatbots & research

Free forever plan • All features unlocked

App screenshot