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r/Confessions I Stole an Ancient Egyptian Artifact

2025-01-19 Comedy
159.8k
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1.9m subscribers

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Description

Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8qFqrblXu1Plkv8L Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rslash Discord: https://discord.com/invite/VD6eYD3 0:00 Intro 0:07 Itching powder 2:39 Work project 8:08 Observe 10:45 Museum thief 13:02 Comment 13:55 iPad "Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0

Top Comments (10)

@Kxks-uu2xn 2025-01-19

DUDE!!!! CAN YOU STOP CURSING US BY STEALING ANCIENT ARTIFACTS!!! IM TIRED OF THE DISEASES

977 19 replies
@dracko158 2025-01-19

Story 2: "He proceeded to lecture me about mustard." Hmmm, why does that phrase sound so familiar? Are you sure it's not THAT guy from THAT story?

940 20 replies
@juno1752 2025-01-19

For all of the people talking about a Pharaoh’s curse, if I remember my Egyptology Tawaret is a hippo headed goddess known as being a protector of children. If the idol he stole was of Tawaret, she might have been the reason he never got busted. Now if the idol was of Set or Apep? That’s gotta be a Pharaoh’s curse.

714 8 replies
@artisticVulpes 2025-01-19

The person who took the Hippo Goddess was very lucky! That's the Goddess of Mothers and Children! No way she'd curse a kid for being dumb.

544 8 replies
@DaBaseBallZ 2025-01-19

Story 2:Uhh,guys. Was that mustard man?

361 7 replies
@zekehistoria720 2025-01-19

Art history student here. For the museum thief story, I don't blame you for taking the artifact. Kids & even teenagers don't fully understand the importance of historical artifacts. Op definitely did the right thing by returning it. Considering op was able to return it at all after holding onto it for so long I'm guessing it was still in decent condition too. Yeah, the fact that op had it for so long is an art conservationist's nightmare, but it being returned intact is the best case scenario regardless of how long it was missing

263 11 replies
@Niskara 2025-01-19

Never thought we'd get a confession from Indiana Jones

151 1 replies
@silverflight01 2025-01-19

Story 2: Honestly, OP should be the boss far more than the actual boss. Like, he's not just a manchild, he's dumber than even 1st Graders. That would spell doom for the company if someone like him ran the place entirely instead of OP

82 4 replies
@screenname8267 2025-01-19

"So, I'm not going to fix these problems, but I want you to do it, then give me your notes and tell me how you fixed it so I can say I did it." ...and this guy DIDN'T screw it all up on purpose?

73 1 replies
@scifirocks 2025-01-20

In year 5 (age 9), me and 3 of my friends formed The Broken Bone Club. There was a girl who had a broken arm and she became really popular, so we wanted some of that popularity. We decided that we needed to break bones too, so we would run straight into walls during breaks. None of the club was actually successful though.

12

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