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r/Askreddit I Stole $3,000,000 from My Family

2026-02-16 Comedy
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rSlash
rSlash
1.9m subscribers

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Description

Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8qFqrblXu1Plkv8L Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rslash Discord: https://discord.com/invite/VD6eYD3 0:00 Intro 0:09 Biohazard 1:17 Impala 2:56 Money 4:58 Passed away 6:21 Cash 7:14 Ring 7:58 Garage sale 8:40 Abuse 10:28 Psychotic break 11:57 Surprise pregnancy 13:32 Class trip 15:24 Bird 16:15 Mercury "Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0

Top Comments (10)

@SF2K01 2026-02-16

Last Story: While Mercury is super dangerous for a host of reasons, it's a neurotoxin, can cause kidney failure, but cancer isn't one of them. Though, given that the teacher let them play with liquid mercury, it's likely he was also giving them a host of other dangerous materials to play with. I'd guess something radioactive.

622 46 replies
@sealand000 2026-02-16

The son who recorded the greedy squabbling relatives is a hero. The parents trafficking their kid to the fire chief? OP should absolutely expose them.

558 9 replies
@xKCAZxLEADER 2026-02-16

First Story: OP did those kids a favor because how the hell her friend thought she and her kids can live in that condition is beyond me

333 3 replies
@Josh_the_jester 2026-02-16

7:08 "yep, when we get to heaven!" That downright hilarious.

323 3 replies
@lacko623 2026-02-16

Jeeeeesuuusssss, that OP with the trafficking "parents"...those people are just wicked and make scum look like gold... As hard as it is, OP should try to gather any evidence and go nuclear as much as possible...those people were complicit in the crime...

205 6 replies
@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64 2026-02-16

Good that the first OP kept it a secret, the last thing those kids need is their mom cutting OP, someone that cares about their safety and well being, out of their lives.

136
@myaccounthell 2026-02-16

my mom fostered many kids. the system fights hard to return children to their birth/blood family, even if that means its unsafe. the saddest story was of a struggling addict mom who had two little boys. she got them back, got them taken away. got them back, got them taken away. over and over. it just got progressively worse inside the home. she got pregnant. went to jail for drug use, her new baby boy was born addicted. she was still given a chance. unfortunately, she ended up overdosing. the happy ending (in a way) is that all three boys were adopted by a loving family and are thriving together. I have many examples of the system failing children.

90 5 replies
@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64 2026-02-16

The Abuse OP can most definitely unweave their parents’ web of lies. They might have decades of false information stacked against OP but as long as OP remains calm, level headed and amiable he can probably convince people of what happened. The better question would be if he even wants to, because these are the same people that knew OP was a “teen addict” and didn’t show a lick of support. Still, it would be the right thing to do, to expose his parents and that fire chief, though I understand if OP wouldn’t want to do that.

83 5 replies
@donnamichelerichey2878 2026-02-16

The story where the roommate/friend stabbed himself - the OP didn't need to confront him as he could have been killed but he did need to call the police ASAP and possibly saved his life.

20
@simongamingglacier 2026-02-16

The story about Barney... I had to fight back tears while driving to go get coffee. Rest In Peace Barney. You are flying high now.

18

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