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How to Become the Person You’ve Always Wanted to Be

2025-08-04 People & Blogs
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Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
5.7m subscribers

Claiming Your Power: Chelsea Handler on Overcoming Regret and Reinvention

Discover how Chelsea Handler transformed deep personal setbacks—like family loss and professional failure—into rock-solid self-assurance. You gain permission to stop apologizing and start claiming the bigger life you deserve today.

Short Summary

  • Stop shrinking, stop explaining, and start claiming exactly what you desire without guilt.
  • Learn why anger functions as a protective shield covering deeper, unmet pain or hurt.
  • True confidence emerges not from success, but solely from the willingness to try.
  • You hold the reservoir of strength needed to reinvent yourself, irrespective of past circumstances.

Mel Robbins and Chelsea Handler explore the crucial inner work required to move past self-doubt and societal expectations, framed by Handler’s book, I'll Have What She's Having. Learn specific lessons on accountability, self-love, and turning past failures into fuel for massive success by identifying and leveraging your inherent value.

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Description

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — Today, you’ll learn how to stop playing small and step into the bigger life that’s waiting for you. You’ll learn how to stop shrinking, stop explaining, and start claiming what you want without guilt, apology, or second-guessing. Whether you’re coming out of a breakup, burnout, or just a version of life that no longer fits, this conversation will show you how to reinvent yourself from the inside out. You’ll hear what happens when you finally give yourself permission to live life the way you really want. Because let’s be honest: How many times have you talked yourself out of what you want… before you even tried to go get it? That job. That conversation. That version of yourself you know you’re capable of being. You feel the pull. But then comes the doubt. And you quietly decide, “That’s not for me.” This episode is here to challenge that. And change it. Mel sits down with Chelsea Handler, one of the most successful comedians of all time, a six-time #1 New York Times bestselling author, and someone who’s spent decades breaking rules, saying exactly what she thinks, and reinventing herself in public. But this is not the Chelsea you think you know. This conversation is about the version of Chelsea you haven’t seen – the woman who’s done the inner work, faced down regret, and come out the other side with more clarity, peace, and power than ever before. You’ll laugh. You might cry. And you will absolutely see yourself in this. If you’ve ever walked through life thinking “that would be nice… but not for me,” that ends today. This is the permission slip you’ve been waiting for. You’ll learn: -How to let go of the expectations, labels, and roles that aren’t yours anymore -What it means to claim what you want – and actually go get it -The mindset shift that makes true confidence possible -How to stop managing everyone else’s comfort and start living for you -What it really takes to stop caring what people think -How to pick yourself back up after regret, loss, or failure This conversation will challenge you. It will surprise you. And it will make you think differently about what you’re actually capable of. You have a reservoir of strength that you don’t even know about, and today you’re going to learn how to tap into it. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-313/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 0:00 Welcome 10:45 How to Get Honest About What You Really Want 21:18 What Your Darkest Moments Are Trying to Teach You 28:27 Why You Have to Try Before You're Ready 36:00 Real Friends Hold You to a Higher Standard 44:33 Why You Can’t Heal What You Won’t Face 51:24 Letting Go of the Anger You’ve Been Carrying 59:13 Showing Up for Yourself When It Matters Most 1:05:09 What Joy Feels Like When You Finally Let It In — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Top Comments (10)

@lindamac45 2025-08-05

I divorced my husband after 35 years when I discovered he was seeing another woman for 11 years. I started over in my 60s and haven't looked back. I'm living my best life 🎉

1.1k 65 replies
@PrimeCore.25 2025-08-10

I used to think overthinking was just part of who I was. Always analyzing, always fixing, always preparing to be hurt. But the truth is — I was avoiding stillness. Because in stillness, there’s no performance left. What the Silence Tried to Say by Alira Sennel wasn’t loud. It just asked the kind of questions I’d never been brave enough to sit with. And somehow, that silence spoke louder than anything else.

360 2 replies
@abeba2005 2025-08-05

Probably one of your BEST interviews YET!!! And thank you for letting Chelsea speak, uninterrupted. We have learnt so much❤

291 4 replies
@KailasYeldare 2025-08-07

If you're reading this right now, I just want to say; I'm rooting for you. We’re strangers, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I know what it’s like to feel like you're pushing a boulder uphill. I felt that way until I picked up Manifest the Unseen by Luna Rivers I can’t explain it perfectly, but it changed my whole perspective. After checking it out on youtube and reading it things have been flowing—money, peace, confidence. Maybe this is your moment too. Stay open. Wishing you more than you ever imagined! 💫💰

275 1 replies
@theekmac4719 2025-08-16

I cried when she explained her quote about being her sister, daughter, mother....I never have my own back. I trash myself. I am going to change this because of you, chels❤

173 5 replies
@yasamanshakiba6218 2025-08-09

My mom passed away unexpectedly recently and it’s shattered my heart and world. It’s been so hard and feeling lost and lonely. …. The passage read from 162 got me 😭❤️“I’ve become for myself what I’ve tried to be for every important person in my life - my own best friend, my own cheerleader, my own listener, my mother, my sister, I became my own daughter.”

129 10 replies
@sandilang2874 2025-08-04

I have always admired Chelsea Handler but this interview has given me a better understanding of her and her exceptional characteristics of her amazing personality. Today, I adore her!

127
@Leonie5656 2025-08-07

“Don’t just exist. Think about how you are existing”. “What do you want people to feel like after they spend time with you?”

65 1 replies
@small_simple_things 2025-08-12

At 60, I'm finally becoming the person I always wanted to be. I'm sharing transformative life lessons here on YouTube and loving it, have published my first book (back in 2023) and am working on my second. Life is good! 💛🙏

59 2 replies
@MANDEE7962 2025-08-05

The hard lemonade stand at 10 is killing me 😂

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