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How to Get What You Want Every Time: 3 Steps to Negotiate Anything With Anyone

2025-05-22 People & Blogs
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Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
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Description

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — Right now, there’s something you want. Maybe you need help at home, more support from your partner, or it’s time to set a boundary at work. But you’re avoiding the conversation. Why? Because it feels hard. You don’t want conflict, you don’t want to upset anyone, and you just don’t know how to bring it up. That ends today. The greatest things in life are on the other side of hard conversations. And in this episode, you will learn the 3 simple steps to have any difficult conversation and get exactly what you want. Mel sits down with world renowned negotiation expert Kwame Christian, CEO of the American Negotiation Institute, to break down exactly how to approach the conversations you’ve been avoiding. Whether you want to negotiate a raise, ask your partner to step up, or finally tell your friend what’s bothering you, this episode is your crash course in how to advocate for yourself. Inside this episode, you’ll learn: -Why avoiding hard conversations is damaging your relationships (and your self-respect) -How to handle someone’s emotional reaction without losing your cool -The 3-step “Compassionate Curiosity” framework to navigate ANY conflict -Why it’s more important to be respected than liked (and how to make that shift) -How to negotiate at home, at work, and even with your landlord -How to stand up for yourself without starting a fight If you’ve been staying silent, stewing in resentment, or dreading confrontation, this episode will give you the confidence and skills to speak up and change your life. You deserve respect. This is your roadmap to get it. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-291/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Welcome 05:33 How to Communicate More Confidently 12:04 Stop Putting Everybody Else Above You 33:07 How to Stop Letting Your Emotions Run the Show 49:46 The 3-Step Framework for Any Difficult Conversation 55:28 How to Navigate Tough Conversations 01:10:50 How to Negotiate and Lower Your Rent 01:12:25 The Conversation That Changes Your Paycheck 01:15:23 Why You're Fighting About Laundry (and What to Do Instead) 01:19:46 After This Conversation, Your Life Gets Better — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Top Comments (10)

@sharontabor7718 2025-05-22

I've always stated there are 4 types of people: People you like and respect; People you don't like but respect; People you don't like and don't respect; and People you like but don't respect. Very few people agree. My mother told me the best thing that ever happened to her marriage was when she broke her elbow and my father had to help with housework He told her if he had known housework was so hard, he would never have left her with the kids so much. For the last 6 years of his life, they spent more time together than the previous 40 years.

311 11 replies
@Maviyasms0786 2025-06-12

To anyone who's suffering depression, anxiety, insomnia and other mental health problems, you are not alone. I feel you. You are so brave. You are doing so well. I'm proud of you. I'm sending you a virtual hug ❤ For me, it wasn’t therapy or meds that helped the most — it was reconnecting with myself. I started using the exercises in Shift Your Mind by Alexander Brooks, and it made me feel human again. The anxiety that used to control my whole day barely shows up now! 🙏❤

180
@skillsbiz3972 2025-05-23

Your ability to ask for what you want and say things that are difficult is how you gain respect !!!

101 2 replies
@siobhansaunders2209 2025-05-22

I wanted to love this episode, but i feel like Mel didn't let him speak enough. She dominated the conversation. I feel like he had a lot more to give.

89 11 replies
@LimitlessConfidenceChannel 2025-05-22

This episode hit so deep. 💥 Just a few years ago, I was emotionally wrecked, stuck in cycles of people-pleasing and conflict avoidance. I stumbled across Kwame’s framework during a 3AM scroll in the middle of a breakdown. That night changed everything. Since then, I’ve learned to sit in discomfort, speak my truth, and not flinch when conversations get hard. 🧠💬 Now? I run my own creative business, set boundaries like a pro, and the relationship with my daughter has flourished beyond what I thought possible. 🌱💪 She sees me standing tall and calm in moments that used to break me. That's the real win. 🙌 Thank you Mel and Kwame for not just teaching strategy—but modeling dignity, clarity, and compassion. This isn’t just about negotiation—it’s about healing our inner voice. ❤🔥✨ —From someone who used to be afraid to ask for what she needed. #LifeChanging #CompassionateCuriosity #FromPainToPower 💖📈🎧

72 2 replies
@tammik4652 2025-05-29

Mel, I wish you’d have Krame back again because I was soooo wanting to hear what he had to say, and I felt you would let him talk only for a brief moment, then the majority of time, you did the speaking, giving your own thoughts and examples.

71 8 replies
@simonperez1739 2025-05-22

The best things in life are on the other side of a difficult conversation!!!! ❤❤❤❤

58 3 replies
@sussysantana3903 2025-05-27

I wish Mel would let the guest speak. She took over this conversation completely. I don't think it comes from a bad place but just something to be mindful of.

43 2 replies
@Daisybuchanan777 2025-05-30

16:05 “why is it you’re my best friend and respect me the least?” This part.

20 3 replies
@ewoods0129 2025-06-03

My girl Mel, he barely had a chance to speak…This felt like your therapy session. Please bring him back!

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